Happy Birthday

My guy's birthday is on the 3rd, he turns 30 (officially old). Tonight we're going to a MD baskeball game as his present from me. The kids are all going to a sitter and the two of us and two of his friends will set off for the game. I plan to take something to do while sitting there. I don't mind basketball, but it does get old. I am 95% completed a baby blanket for a friend and 100% completed the matching pillow. Next on my list are one puppy and one kitten for my niece and nephew and then the hippo for my sister. Someone is paying me to crochet together a blanket they knitted, so that will come first. Moreover, another person wanted to buy a stuffed animal and I may negotiate that out. After list last blizzard it became apparant that a few friends didn't own winter hats, so I may make a hat or two, they only take an hour or so. I am returning my sister's kids on saturday at the extended family party. I will be brining the stuffing and an separate meal for myself. I don't think we'll stay long though, I can't stand my crack whore cousin and the party is at her mother's house. In a little while we're taking the kids to chuckee cheese (hell on earth) to work off all that excess energy before they go to the sitter's house. I think the puking plague has passed us by. Yesterday we spent the day duckpin bowling, a Maryland tradition. For those of you who wonder wtf that is, it's like regular bowling, but the ball and pins are smaller, the ball has no holes and you get three tries to knock the pins over. When it comes to food, my sister's kids are getting on my last nerve. I've long had the policy that if you don't eat what I give you, you get nothing else. My guy wasn't on the same page and was feeding them and falling for BS. After a long chat, he decided to let me do it. It's annoying that he's the "good guy" and I'm the "bad guy."

Worse than the bunny suit

i hope you had a nice christmas. near midnight christmas, my guy started puking and has kept it up all day today. i got him some gatorade and put him to bed. today i went to see my parents and sisters and got my niece and nephew for a few days. they're currently trashing my house. Mandolin had a great day, santa, mommy and daddy and everyone else gave her a lot. Grandpa in Indiana sent her a $300 tricycle while her papaw bought and built her a table and chairs for her room. The table has cubby holes so it can be used as a desk later. Mamaw got her what seems like several tons of new clothing with shoes to match. At one point, Mandolin said "too much, i'm done" and refused to open any more gifts. We carried on without her and got it all done. On monday we're having a little party for my niece and nephew and they get to open gifts from people here who love them. My nephew has to have surgery on his "boy parts" (as he calls them) in about 2.5 weeks. Poor kid is in a lot of pain and can't pee. Santa and my family were good to me. My mil bought me several outfits fit for a 66 year old NJ housewife married to someone in the mob. Seriously, the gold satin pantset with leopard print trim and matching tassels left everyone speechless. She said "You're so beautiful and I love you and wanted to give you something to show how pretty you are." Her words were sweet, but man I was almost instulted after really taking all of the outfits in. I spent the day to chants of "go try it on, Jillian." I felt like Ralphie. Except everyone but the MIL knew how ugly the outfits were and they were making fun of me. I got my best friends back by getting my MIL to insist on them taking my hand-me-downs since I didn't fit most of the clothing. They didn't like the taunts of "Go try it on, it'll fit" they got after that. the MIL only had one crazy episode and we just ignored her. that's about it for christmas.

stuffing gone wild

The turtle took about 2 hours. The assembly was hard because the assebly instructions were a cop out. I don't understand giving exact details and tips on how to make the parts and then writing two sentences about stuffing and filling. I made mine in different colors and put a large lip around the schell, because that's how i like my turtles. I have now gone back to lions brand and downloaded plans for a pig, a hippo, a tiger, a lady bug, and a panda. Reading the reviews is helpful. I couldn't find polyfill at the store, so I had to buy a pillow and unstuff it to stuff the turtle. One reviewer suggested just using cottonballs while another said to use pinto beans to make the toy a beanie. I think Iwill try these things on other animals. It stuff with pinto beans, I'll have to do a really tight stitch to close any holes in the fabric. The poly fill stays put inside the turtle pretty good. Also, since i stuffed and then attached his limbs, the stuffing won't fall out of his limbs into his body over time. There are a few good bear patterns i might try. I like the tiger pattern because it looks like a kitten, and I can make cat dolls for my cat lover friends. I could also place atnip, bells and squeakes inside the toys to be used as pet toys. I like that the toys only take about an hour to crochet and maybe an hour to stuff and assemble. a small herd of toys might be nicer than a baby blanket as gifts for people. Now i just need to keep Mandolin away from the toys i'm making for other people. this morning, when she saw the turtle, she told me it says "bibbit." I think I'll make her a frog with a crown i saw after i try all the other patterns out.

anyway, off to fex ex a gift. have a good day.

Quiet Week

this is a stuffed animal i'm making for a pregnant friend. they love mandolin so much that they're naming their child after her. They're givin their daughter mandolin's middle name. it's an honor. I can't blame them, i like the kid and her names too.

After getting about 3 feet of snow over the weekend, we're having a quiet week. All of the schools in the state cancelled school until January. It's just cheaper to keep the kids home this week, especially because the past few years when June comes around, they forgive the snow days and just let the kids out on schedule. Running the buses, AC, power and schools is very expensive and apparently they save a boatload by doing it. My guy is now attached at my hip this week. I made him go shovel the driveway and the street (they don't plow anything but major streets here), and today he completed that task, so I have to invent something for him to do.

Christmas Dinner is as follows:

Choice of: Steak, pork chops, tuna steaks

Gravy

sausage dressing

roasted garlic mashed potatoes

green beans in the pressure cooker (takes 5 minutes)

dinner rolls for those who eat them

Bigass salad same as Thanksgiving

Fruit tay

and Chocolate mousse made with Baily's irish creme and tia maria

or sugar free pie

We're openinig gifts at 12 and eating at 3 to get my inlaws the hell out of my house by 6. It's supposed to snow that day, so we might be rid of them earlier!

So far the tree has been knocked over twice, the kitten has peed on the tree once, the dog i dog sit has eaten three ornaments (she doesn't eat dog trats but eats a salt cookie?) and between Mandolin and the kitten, 7 presents have been unwrapped. They (the both of them) love to pull the bows off the gifts.

This year when i spent my 5 hours of wrapping hell, I used some fancy scmancy expensive scotch tape special for gift wrap. That stuff peeled off the gifts after 4 days and I had to go back with packing tape to keep the stuff wrapped. I should ahve just used packing tape as usual and ignored the pretty tape display. The tree, being left up to me, has giant outside lights on it instead of the little lights. I like the big light look with all of our homemade ornaments, it's "homey."

Wednesday Mandolin is going to her christmas party at daycare so she can see her baby. A new baby started there about a month ago and Mandolin's been asking me to give her a baby (a real one) ever since. If Mandolin is nice, she gets to help feed the baby and hold her. It's good that Mandolin isn't the youngest anymore. Now she wants to be a big girl. My only worry is that she'll hurt the baby. The baby was premature and is still tiny and has some brain damage. The baby has a large dent in her head from birth trauma. When I held my cousin's son a few weeks ago, Mandolin went up to that baby and punched him in the face, so I'm worried she's going to hit this brain damaged baby in the head. She's been good so far, but then again, I haven't held this baby either.

My father in law has decided to dress as santa for christmas day, i'll be sure to tell those of you who got her holiday picture how that turns out.

Social Training: Who needs it?

at the bookshelf site, fourflights posted something about a dog sweater. I'm not sure if she wanted to buy one, or if she was suggesting it because she didn't really say. This was the response she got:

"I'm glad the dire straights of poverty you'd been stricken by have passed. (smile)...I bet your headaches will vanish for different reasons now...brava Carolyn. xox."

Damn, way to put another person's private business out there like that. How socially ignorant must someone be? It reads like a backhanded compliment, you know the type: "For your age, you look great!" Why can't one just say "You look great"? The second half makes it more an insult than a compliment. I hope Four learns to not tell this sairi person anything personal again.

the "(smile)" and "brava" hint that it really wasn't meant as an insult, but it just reads like one to me. I could be wrong, but I hardly think it's appropriate to bring up someone's financial woes, unless they mention it in that post first. It wasn't like Four said she wanted the dog sweater, but couldn't afford it.

It's like meeting an acquaintance while out-and-about and right after the "hellos" asking "How's that case of crotch rot you had back in '94?" It's just Inappropriate, out-of-the-blue, and really unrelated to the point or the social circumstances. But one could make an argument that's par for the course for this person. How does one go about living a life communicating like that?

Believe it or not, there are classes one can take when they have this problem, to teach individuals how to fit in socially. Because some people just don't "get it." It's as if while the rest of us internalized basic social rules, like standing in line at a store, or chewing with closed mouthes, some people never figured it out. It isn't because they're ignorant on purpose, like some people, it's that they really just missed that part of life.

I know Bert, you're going to make an argument about "to each his own" etc. and who am I to insist on social rules that we're supposed to internalize? However, when we learn and follow some social rules, all societies have them, it makes things easier. Sure some people are known for marching to their own drum and being brilliant, but most of them are also known as major assholes to the people who have to put up with them. Since I am not in the "obscure, unsocialized genius" group, I know I'm in the "god I have to put up with that asshole" group. Being a member of the "tolerating" group, I'd rather not have to tolerate someone who's an asshole if I didn't have to. I'm not like Bert, I don't have the cat gene. I don't like to play with my food, or in his case, I don't want to poke a stick at the crazies for the giggles.

Baby steps

Yesterday Mandolin climbed out of her crib for the first time. I really thought she'd never do it, so it was a wonderful surprise. I know some kids never accomplish the crib climb, but every example we've met has been worse off than Mandolin in the disability area. There's a long list of things she's never been able to do, and might not ever do. We usually just ignore it when people ask us about it. People get so catty when their kid does something yours can't.

While Mandolin's ahead vocally and socially, she's still months behind when it comes to problem solving and physical accomplishments. Months doesn't seem like a lot, but for infants and toddlers, it's like having a child in 6th grade performing at the 3rd or 4th grade level. It's a big gap. We pretend we're not worried, or that nothing is wrong, but behind closed doors, we're worried. Being able to find solutions to problems is a large part of how we define intelligence in our society. Sure there's the multiple intelligences etc., but in reality, if you can't solve a basic problem, like how to reach something on a top shelf, life will be hard for you.

A few months back we had to decide which "track" to put her on. People who think that kids aren't still tracked in school anymore are living in lalaland. Just because the Supreme Court said we can't track doesn't mean it still isn't done. They just call it something else and use pretty words to try and mask it. We were given the choice of our daughter being in "regular" classes, but being towards the bottom academically, or putting her in "assisted" (special ed) classes, but her being at the top. Bottom of the top or top of the bottom. What a choice to make when your child is 2. The only decision we've really made is that we want to avoid the Baltimore Public School System. The rest is a mine field that we're attempting to navigate. Not for the first time, I was left wondering what people who don't understand the system coming in do to navigate it?

Mandolin (before the haircut)

Orb, her hair was almost to her bottom. She was born with a lot of hair, and it just kept growing. I didn't have the heart to cut it, until we just couldn't deal with it anymore. She hates having it brushed and gets made when I have to hold her down to put pony tails in it, or braid it. The new shoulder-length do is good for kids who don't want you to do anything to it. The woman gave her bangs, and they're crooked, so I'm going to ask my hairdresser if he'll trim her bangs the next time I go in for a trim.

She refused to wear shoes and the "bracelet" is really a pony tail holder she likes to wear as a bracelet. They got this picture after her hopping around for about 20 minutes and refusing to look at the camera. She was in love with the photographer though and he finally got her to smile and look at the camera for him.

Last First

On Saturday we set off to getMandolin's first haircut. This is the last of her "baby firsts." I borrowed a camera and took pictures of the occasion. I still cannot find a replacement battery for my camera that dies three months after I bought the thing. What a waste of money.

Tomorrow we will visit the post office and probably scan and possibly share our family pictures we picked up from the picture studio yesterday.

My leg feels better every day and I'm no longer tied to the sofa popping pain pills, so the holidays are looking pretty good. On Tuesday we're doing a major furniture move, and I'm sctually looking forward to it. I'm the type of person that likes to put the furniture in one place and never mess with it again, unless it's to clean around, so looking forward to moving furniture shows how badily it's needed. If Tuesday goes well, then Wednesday is the big TREE DAY.

We'll see if I'm up to Christmas Food Shopping on Thursday.

I hope the rest of you had a nice weekend and start the week off alright.

Stupid Man Codes

Today I set about making 100 christmas ornaments and a tree topper out of heaps of salt, flour, cinnamon, cocoa powder, and coffee grounds. If you've never done this, it's very messy and not easy to accomplish with a 2 year old, but we hung in there and all three types of "cookies" were made. Tomorrow we have to decorate the "sugar" cookies, but the cinnamon and mocha were done tonight. I want a tree that could be demolished by young kids and I won't care.

After that, I got started on the Christmas cards. This is usually an involved process, because depending on my mood, I send anywhere from 50-200 cards. Some years I love everyone I have an address for, and other years, like this year, most people could go @#%$ themselves before I send them a card. Kathryn, Spidey and Tree will be getting cards from me because I got a card from them. This year's cards are picture cards of Mandolin screaming at Santa. I got 40 copies of that magic moment and stuffed them into the cards, applied a staple to keep the pic in, wrote a message on the back, stuffed the envelopes, and then put a sticker to close it up. This process took me about an hour.

I really needed help printing the addresses. Basically, someone had to make a new label document of the "in" people from three different address files (my family, his family and the shelfer people). Because my guy has mad skills, and had nothing to do, I assigned the job to him. With some quick C&P action, he should have been done with everything printed long before I was. Nope. He tried to pull the "I hate this $%^&" card to get out of it, but it didn't work with me. That's when I told him that I'd go take his name off all the cards if he didn't help. He thought I was kidding. I let it slip that I haven't put his name on a Christmas card in years, or a gift tag either because he takes me for granted. He had a fit and said I "betrayed" the "relationship rules." WTF? Apaprently, one of the biggest perks for men in a relationship is not having to shop or fill out cards, and I should know this and just put his name. Screw that, if he wants a name on the card, he has to help the process out. I wouldn't be so pissy here except, he had the easy job, a job he earns a living at TEACHING OTHER PEOPLE HOW TO DO, which is mail merging and using C&P. He's got no excuse and the old "I have a penis, see?" excuse isn't cutting it. So, while he pouts and hunts for Sports Center, I'm printing address labels and finishing the cards.

His name isn't going on any gift tags I fill out this year.

If you want a card, let me know here or e-mail me.

Early Saturday Stuff

Doreen, my voice is unique because I sound like a 10-year-old. A few shelf websites ago, Allan needed help posting pics and I said I'd help him out. In the process, he ended up calling me and the first thing he said was "Holy shit, are you the FBI? I'm not a pervert, I swear." Allan sounds like a very old extra-jewish Mel Brooks, if you can imagine it. Bert said I sound like a kid on the phone when we talked that one time. Telemarketers and other bothersome phone people quite often ask to speak to my mommy when I asnwer. I haven't taked to one in awhile though because Mandolin likes to talk to them, so I just put her on. You'd be surprised at how long they'll sit there and talk to her.

On thursday night I was doing a workout tape and everyone did 30 crunches. I, being stupid, thought "we can do 20 more for a good 50." I shouldn't listen to myself. I am sore today and it hurts my middle to bend over. It's been awful all day and is the reason that it's almost 1:30 am on Saturday and I'm not asleep.

Saturday the 5th is my mom's annual birthday party/cookie swap. I still haven't talked to my mother since around Feb. Well, we did talk that one time, but that made it worse, so it doesn't count. I got the invitation for the party on Wednesday for Saturday. What else should I expect? After the whole Thanksgiving thing, I truly thought that an RSVP wasn't needed, afterall, they were going to let me cook $300 worth of food and two meals and not show up without a call, why should I RSVP a stupid cookie swap where I won't be able to eat anything anyway? I was in the middle of making diet cookies when my older sister left me a nasty message about not calling to RSVP. I almost said "fuck it" and not go. However, my mother is still very ill, and if this were her last birthday (which is highly possible at this point), I'd feel bad for blowing it off. So, even though we're not talking, I'm going to go. I do have a few words I want to say to my sisters.

After much debate, I have decided not to see my family for Christmas, but make the trip a week or so after. My guy was raised spending Christmas Eve driving 7 hours to visit one set of grandparents, having christmas there, and then driving another 9 hours to visit grandparents 2, having christmas there and then driving home. What a crappy winter break from school. Because of this, he likes to get up at 4am Christmas day, drive a few hours to my parents, have one christmas and then drive a few hours in the other direction to see his parents, have christmas two and then come home, to our friends and have christmas three. I'm just not up to it anymore and that's that. Yes it's nice to honor the older people by visiting them, but they don't have a baby to wrangle and aren't old enough to obsess over "price is right" and "matlock."
Nothing is keeping them from coming here.

A few months ago we went to my guy's parent's home. My guy's momma is a hoarder, just like in the TV show. It's dangerous to move about in her house because piles of stuff are constantly falling and it's hard to walk around. On our last visit, the FIL didn't watch Mandolin as he was supposed to, and she was injured. It was a minor injury, but it happened. I made the executive decision that we wouldn't be going back there until the home is clean (so after the MIL is dead or in a home). Before my guy was 5, he suffered from several broken bones and a few trips to Childrne's for poisioning from the combination of my FIL's inability to watch young children, and his momma's hoarding. If my kid gets a broken bone, it won't be because of those two things.

This year, we're having a tree, presents and dinner here with the people that really matter. His parents can visit that day if they want food and family. I'm not driving out to the foothills of Appalachia to see my kin until around New Year's because it really isn't worth the bother.

12 minute wrong number

I listened to/ watched a leagle show earlier where the atty stated that no one makes a 12 minute wrong number. Well I have. About 2-3 moths ago I called my guy to have a nice chat. He's gone a lot teaching various things at various places. Anyway, we were having a nice chat about what we did that day whe he suddenly said "wait, you're carla, right?" and I said "Who the Hell is Carla?" Apparently I had dialed the wrong number, neither of us realized it and he thought I was his woman and I thought he was my guy and we had a chat for 12 minutes not realizing that I'm not carla and he wasn't my guy. Yep, it took us 12 minutes. When he was done laughing, my guy was perplexed how this dude thought I was "carla" because I have a unique voice. Perhaps Carla is my voice double? Who kows, but if you ever need a reason in court, there are people who infact do spend 12 minutes on a wrong number.

that's all for now, i burnt my hand on the toaster oven and it hurts.

Plans

Well, I was better for a week and now I'm ill again, just in time for the holiday. Thanks god I'm done Christmas shopping.

It was cold and rainy today and I went grocery shopping for Thanksgiving. I got everything except for buttermilk (the store i went to was out) and I need a bundt pan. I think I'm just going to add a cup of milk to some white vinegar instead of hunting down the buttermilk. It's not quite the same, but it'll do.

Thursday's menu:

• Large salad (spinach, romain hearts, peppers, carrots, celery, various beans and as many other veggies as I can fit in it)
• 13 lb turkey that i'm going to try and brine. we'll see how it goes.
• 2 lbs green beans cooked in the pressure cooker (I bought a ham hock to toss in, but a big momma at the store told me to get the pig tail. I refrained).
• 2 lb pork roast for the non-turkey people (again with the pressure cooker)
• cranberry, apricot and coorn bread dressing (I'm going to make it in the muffin tin)
• roasted garlic mashed potatoes (made with chicken broth instead of milk and butter)
• roasted veggies (sweet onion, red and green peppers, yellow squash, zuccini, garlic, and asparagus)
• greenbean casserole (the same old thing for people who want it, not me)
• mac 'n cheese (not for me, I'm not a big fan, so I'm not even making it, it's a bring along)
• can of cranberry sauce (I HATE the stuff, so I just buy the can and hope it's magically gone)
• onion gravey made from turkey drippings
• beef gravey from the jar for the MIL who is allergic to all thing poultry
• brown n serve rolls (I don't eat them, so I didn't bother with homemade
• pumpkin spice cake with cool whip topping (I dislike most pies and didn't want to bother with making 2-3 when one cake would do)

Notice how everything was done with me in mind or someone else made it? That's a great Thanksgiving for me. Word spread that my family was't coming and some other people asked to come instead. We have an open house policy that anyone who wants to eat can come on by as long as they behave.

After dinner, the womenfolk are all going to take a long walk in the cemeteries and let the menfolk clean up. I usually get roped into the planning, housecleaning, shopping, cooking and cleanup. "Not this year" is my mantra.

What are you going to eat/do for Thursday?

Sketti

My daughter is under weight for her age, and it doesn't help that she lost a lot of weight, she really had no business losing, last week when ill. She ate maybe 2 ounces of yougurt a day for 5 days and that was it. Therefore, when we can get her to eat, we're supposed to get her to eat as much as possible and try and get her to eat fatty foods that are full of protein. She prefers diet yogurt, raw fruit and veggies, which aren't the best weight gaining foods. Sometimes she'll eat cheese or meat, but she doesn't really like breads or most carbs. However, she will eat "sketti" about two times a week. It's one of the foods she'll ask for and I don't feel bad about pumping her full of.

I have meetings Friday afternoons/nights and she has to go with me because babysitters are rare and terribly expensive weekend nights. After the meeting, we usually go to dinner with friends and then maybe shop. Mandolin loves going to the friday meetings because she feels like a big girl and often joins in and shakes her head or claps depending on what the people around her are doing. Tonight we went to a local joint called Olive Branch, like a knock-off Olive Garden with a very different menu. My friend got muscles, i got spaghetti maranara and got Mandolin lasagna (she asked for it and I was hoping she'd be in a cheese mood and pack on some fat). Mandolin decided she wanted "sketti" after all and sat in my lap and ate my dinner for me. I cannot wait for her to be older so she can tell me what she really wants to eat. I think that'll happen when she's about 15 right?

Gus-Gus

Tonight we went to a no-kill shelter and got a cat. I wanted three things 1) a young cat/kitten that wasn't baby lookiong but wasn't a month from being an adult 2) a male, i'v found boys to be nicer 3) one that didn't look like any of my previous cats. i don't want to replace an old cat with a new one, i wanted a new one.

at shelter number one, they just had a large adoption event, so there were only 4 kitties there. One was being adopted and two looked like a previous cat. Cat number 4 was my gal. I was willing to overlook the male requirement because she was sweet and such a lady. However, this kitty had some kennel cough and I was a little worried that the staff seemed oblivious to the fact that the animal was ill. I just lost one kitty and didn't want to pay all that money for a new one to then have to go to the vet and spend more money and possibly be told that this kitty isn't going to make it. I was sad and the staff weren't very helpful when it came to an ill animal. So, we left and had dinner and then went to shelter #2.

Shelter #2 was full of kitties and all of them were quite vocal that they wanted to come home with me. The staff wouldn't let us hold a cat until we proved that we were in fact taking an animal home with us tonight. I understand why they don't want to open up the cages for people just fooling around, but it took them 20 minutes to get to the opening portion of the event, and we had a hyper 2 year old to calm. After much thought, we got a little guy that's got a white tummy and odd orange patterns on his back that look like targets. He's unlike any cat i've ever seen or owned before, so he fit ALL THREE requirements. I had to fill out more paperwork to adopt the cat than I had to fill out when we bought the house, but after writing a check and promising to take the cat to the vet within thenext week, we were off home.

After much talk between me and Mandolin, we named him Gus, after the fat mouse in the Disney Cinderella movie. Gus was a fat, happy and sweet mouse, and our cat has the makings of a fat, happy, and sweet cat. He's a dude's dude. The other cat (Tubby) who lives with us (but isn't our cat) decided he liked being an only cat right about the time we opened the carrier, but after some hissing and a slap to the head, things look to be calming down. Gus doesn't like the dog I dog-sit and they had some words, but I think they'll work it out in time too. Poor Gus doesn't quite know wht to do about Mandolin, but once she gets ahold of him, he's done for. Tubby's tail still twitches funny after the last time Mandolin got ahold of it.

So, we got a new cat and he's nothing like our Lovely Lily, but that what I wanted and what we needed. As soon as I get a new camera battery (damn you lithium ion batteries!) I will share pictures. I know Bert, if I knew how to use my cell phone camera, I could take a pic with that, but I don't know how to use it, so there's no point in wishing is there?

Things are Looking up

Mandolin is better, though her voice is still scratchy. I am still under the weather but feeling better today than yesterday etc.

I host thanksgiving every year, this is because we're usually away for christmas and it's been deemed important to see relatives for at least one of the holidays. Anyway, my sisters requested my guy to buy them an edible arrangement. (they asked him because they're both miserably single and when they aren't single, they only date broke losers, so a lot of the neat husband stuff comes from my guy). Anyway, they wanted chocolate covered strawberries and he bought a fruit medly but got chocolate sauce on the side as a compromise to those of us who don't want to weigh as much as a large marine mammal.

I called my family to let them know about the fruit and they informed me that they aren't coming to my place for thanksgiving. I'm okay with that. My issue here is that they weren't going to tell me. They were just going to stay home that day and not call. Man what a bunch of white trash. I have no idea where I came from but I really feel like I've been raised by wolves. My mom gave me some backhanded reason why they weren't coming. They don't want to come to my house because we don't eat deep fried fat, whole milk and lard stuffed food.

After two seconds of thought I remarked that them not coming makes my life easier because we were actually going to make two dinners, one for people who aren't lardasses and one for the rest of us. Now, I only have to make the non-lardass foods and won't have to spend the day with them.

Fever

Mandolin's been fighting a fever for a few days now. I've been struggling to make her drink, but she really hasn't had any food. She mostly lies around on the couch whining and muttering "mommy, ouch" over and over. my throat is starting to hurt, so by the time she's back at top speed, i'll be knocked on my butt with this bug.

"sorry for your terrible loss"

i was sitting crying over my poor dead kitty, when my guy informed me that one of his kids at school died from cancer today. i felt so petty being sad over my cat after that. i won't be offering up anything beyond "sorry for your terrible loss" because like bert said, there's nothing to really say after that. i don't think parents (good one anyway) ever get over the deep fear that they'll have to bury a child someday. a few months back i took mandolin, my niece and my nephew on a hike in one of the cemeteries my house is i the middle of. my niece was facinated by the infant graves and kept asking me what the babies dies of and why there were so many of them. i could't tell her the first, but the second was easy. we live in a time and place where children are expected to live to be elderly, and when they don't, it's a large shock. I think we're blessed by this, but in another way we're not, because expecting a long life means we're not prepared when life is cut short in childhood. so today i am sad. i am sad because of my dead cat. i am sad that my guy has to go to a funeral for a child he'll miss. i am sad that family will miss that boy for the rest of their lives. i am sad thinking of that mother's pain and fear it could one day be my own. i am sad i don't feel guilty about this, because i grew up thinking that "good people" felt guilt. but i am happy too because my daughter is happy and healthy and gave me a hug and kiss when she saw me crying and said "momma, i mouve you. don't cry. smile."

reflections on loss

it's 3 pm and i'm waiting for my guy to get home from work so we can take the cat to the vet, chances are very high that she won't be coming home with us. she's been pretty ill and is in a lot of pain and suffering. I can't take it anymore and am unsure of how she's managing to hold on as long as she has. You know, people say such stupid shit when someone's sad because of death all in the name of "making it better." i asked a friend to watch mandolin so that we could take the cat and her response to my heartache was "well, you have tubby, so you can't be too sad." that the same as telling someone who lost a child "well, you have other kids."

speaking of spanking

Mandolin was caught shoplifting today. I was so embarrassed. I figured out that she was putting items inside the stroller before we left the store, so I didn't have to go back and pay for it, but she did sit one hellova consequence for it. I was sorely tempted to as my mom would say) "tear that ass up," but I refrained. I have no idea if my "we don't steal" talk worked, but I'm hoping it did.

I really understand why people spank

I myself have felt the urge to spank. It's not that I'm against spanking or look down on it, but to me, it makes sense to explain why mandolin needs to follow rules and not just telling her to follow rules. Like most parents, my mom and dad had rules, and if we didn't listen, there was a consequence. More often than not, my mom and dad were spankers, and not just regular spankers but what i like to think of as "impulse beaters." Instead of cooling off and thinking before spanking, my mom would grab something and

beat until she was done beating. She never really left brusies and it didn't happen often, but i think each of us kids has a story of her breaking something while using it to beat us. Many of the rules my parents had were good rules to have, like going to bed early etc. What was really lacking in the punishment system at our house was any sort of cause and effect chit-chat, post beating follow up, or logical processing. Would it have been so hard to say "I love you, even if you did something wrong. You are not a bad person" after tearing our butts up?

My parents both worked a lot and often worked 15 or more hours a day sometimes 7 days a week. I don't blame them for not taking the time to say "if you do x, then y will happen because YOU did x. If you don't like y, then don't do x." I noticed that the main difference between kids in the AP and GT classes in high school and kids in the below level classes (at the two schools i have staff experience at) was a lifetime of "if you do x, then y happens" or "blank is the rule. blank is the rule because of blank. if you break blank, then blank consequence will happen." (Also, most kids are not taught to just take the consequence they earned and stfu.) Most of the kids i worked with were below grade level and while many had good parents, almost none of the parents took time to explain logic over and over especially when applied to rules and behavior expectations. I'm not sure if it was because no one ever explained it to the parents, or if it never occured to the parents that they actually need to talk to their kids and not just yell or talk at and then they have to keep syaing it over and over a million more times. I don't really blame the parents for the lack of knowledge because we're not taught to listen to others, process and then discuss. We're really just taught to hear and respond without much quality communication going on. Hot Tip: Just because your kid is in high school doesn't mean you're done. They make think they're adults, dress like adults, sort of look like adults and want to be adults, but they're not adults: you are.

Another Issue:

Many people operate under the misconception that saying something like "do it again and see what happens" means "don't do that." Some people do realize that the implied meaning is "don't do that." Some people are very literal and really think you're telling them to do it again and then get pissed when punished for doing it again. I had to take some crisis intervention training and one year someone who worked in hostage negotiation led the workshop (that's what we need at school!) and apparently the worst thing someone can say when held at gunpoint is "give me the gun" to someone in crisis, this means "hey, just shoot me." The correct thing to say is "put the gun down and kick it away from you." Sarcasm is a hard habit to break and i'm glad i only had a few tough spots with it.

When mandolin does something wrong i tell her it's wrong, i try to tell her why and then she gets a consequence (punishment). I mainly call it a "consequence" because i want to keep up with the cause and efect theme. For example, today a minor issue was over a mess

Me: "Mandolin, if oyu do not put that toy back, you're getting a consequence. you know big toys stay in your room."

Her: "No"

Me: "I am going to count to three and you need to put it back or you're going to sit in the chair"

Her: "I said no!"

Me: "Let's go to the chair. You have to sit there for two minutes without making a noise"

She started to fuss, but "the look" cut that out quick and she sat her two minutes with grace and put the toy back. usually saying "consequence" will make her get in line, even in public. I have no idea if this method will work for her long term though. so much of parenting is trying new things and praying. However, I like the fact that she hates sitting in her chair and will listen to me so she doesn't have to sit there.

Recently, I had a little meeting with all the people who watch her and explained the system to them. She's smart enough to realize that if she's not with me and she's bad, other people might not know the system. It was a big shock for her tonight when my best friend, her aunt V, made her sit in her chair. I had to have the meeting because the other day, when she was being punished, Mandolin said "I want daddy" and gave me this look that said "you're in trouble when he gets home." Poor thing doesn't realize that I make all the rules and daddy isn't going to save her.

Have you ever

wanted to crawl throuh the phone and beat someone with your shoe because they piss you off while talking to them? Bert probably hasn't because he's too laid back for such emotions, but I know I'm not the only one around here who gets mad like that.

I haven't talked to my mom since last Feb/early March. We had a falling out about my daughter's disability and my insistance to get her treatment. Apparently getting my daughter treatment is a waste of resources and my mom resents it. I don't think I'll ever forgive her or trust her again after that fight. Anyway, even though I don't talk to her, she's still my mother and I care for her. Tonight I talked to one of my sisters and found out that my mother has been very ill and apparently they all thought I wouldn't care so no one called to tell me. The doctor told my mother that she'll probably die from the pneumonia and bronchittis she's had for over a month now if she doesn't a) quit her chain smoking and b) lose weight.

I dislike my mom's smoking, but i see it as not my business so i don't say anything. My sisters and dad have been ganging up on my mom to quit smoking because she's recently started to cough up bloody mucus. I asked about the weight loss suggestion and my older sister then lectured me about how being beyond morbidly obese has nothing to do with health. I pointed out that there are some pretty strong correlations with morbid obesity and poor health. My older sister then told me that my daughter would grow up to hate herself and hate me because i've taken steps to change my life and be a weight in the normal BMI range. I didn't see how in her mind these things correlate.

I lost it and started yelling at her. Being overweight or obese increses the risk of dying from asthma significantly. When I can't breathe, it's the worst feeling: everything hurts, the world stops and it's miserable and terrifying. The last time I had a bad attack, I watched my guy panic and my daughter cry because she was scared. If taking care of myself could prevent my daughter watching me die from asthma, then it's worth it. Moreover, losing weight and becoming stronger is preventing me from having an operation on my spine. The operation has several risks and might not even work. so again, if taking care of myself could prevent things from being worse, then it's worth it to me. My sister is way past morbidly obese and has always been very large, even when we were kids. genetics has a role to play, but so does lifestyle. I don't hold it against her that she's morbidly obese, that's her choice at this point in time. What I am angry about is her finding reasons to hate people who don't want to be morbidly obese and getting mad when people insist that there's such thing as a healthy weight. I will say what is a healthy weight for one person might not be healthy for someone else, that's why they give a range of numbers. My sister has problems walking up a flight of stairs. I asked her if she thought it was healthy to be unable to walk up stairs and she became very angry. At this point in time, I wanted to crawl through the phone and beat her with my shoe.

Bottom line is that some people are under weight, some people are in the range and other people are over the range. If people want to be in the normal range, they have to activly want to be in that range and work for it. having a weight that's considered "normal" might not prevent my death from asthma or keep my right arm from being paralyzed in the long run. But guess what? so far it's done a damn good job of helping me manage my asthma and for the first time in a long time, I was able to carry my daughter. I was devastated when I was unable to carry my daughter and just holding her caused me massive pain. Right now I can pick her up without my arm going numb and there's no threat of dropping her. For me, that's worth skipping out on things like pizza. When she implied that being healthy would cause hate between my daughter and i, i wanted to laugh. my mom didn't teach us to be healthy and she herself isn't healthy and look at our relationship. no one can predict the relationship i'll have with my daughter in 15 years. however, i think taking the time to teach her to be healthy and trying to keep myself healthy can only be good for our relationship in the future.

Big versus Small Packges

So, today I got home from the store and set Mandolin up with some dinner and TV watching while I went out to get the groceries from the car. I have to take several small loads because i'm not even supposed to be lifting groceries anyway, but when you're the only one home, you gotta do it. I was on my way into the house with load #2 when I heard voices in the cemetery next to/behind my house. It was about 6ish so it was a little late for visiting. I looked up and this man had pulled over in the middle of the cemetery section next to my home, got out of his van and was peeing. What shocked me is that one hand was holding a cell phone and the other was scratching his head and he was wildly peeing all over the place. He had no control of the situation.

I paused and took a good look, because this asshole was practically in my yard letting it ALL hang out, so why not? His fly was only down about a inch and the poor man wasn't blessed in the penis size. I was so glad that I got Mandolin in the house before his jerk pulled up. I supressed the urge to call out a catcall as I went back for loads #3 and #4. It was hard to keep a straight face and I kept thinking of the picture of "clay" that went around the shelf several years back. You know, nothing says "I really miss grandpa" like pissing in the cemetery....

I also really felt bad for the person on the other end of the phone. another one of my biggest pet peeves are people who talk on the phone while going to the bathroom in a public place. I don't understand people who feel the need to not only talk about stuff while they're taking care of business, but while strangers are also taking care of business. it's just weird and gross.

While talking to a friend about this incident later, I remembered being flashed while in college. a guy came up to me and said "wanna see something?" I stupidly said "sure" and next thing I know this huge elephant sized penis was being waved in front of me. this guy's cock was so big he could have been in porn, and not the free stuff, the stuff people pay $20 for. His penis was so big i was afraid of walking funny later just being near it. He ofered me to touch it, but i declined in fear of VD. A few days later found out that this dude was rushing and his task was flash girls before he could earn his nickname of "big red." I think they should have called him "ouch."

Confession

I often buy kids shoes for myself because they're cheaper than adult shoes and the fit is the same. These are the shoes I bought to wear in the pool at my water aerobics class. running in the pool was causing me to get blistered feet and I noticed that several of the other women just wore cheap canvass shoes instead of buying water shoes. I went to Target and got these for $8 in the girl's section and they work like a charm. I really like that there's nothing to tie because laces are a pain when wet.

this made me laugh

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l38blGqVeHc

Lotsa Booty

I got up early saturday morning to participate in the Autisim Speaks walk nearest me. Just because I took the eyar off from working with special ed kids doesn't mean I've forgotten them. We walked about three miles and then tossed Mandolin in a bouncy jump for a few minutes to reward her good behavior for the duration of the walk. Our only tough spot was when the Chick fil-a cow gave her a stuffed cow and wouldn't give her the football toy (apparently only boys can have footballs).

It rained on and off the whole time we were there. Anyway, being a people watcher in a large crowd, I was VERY entertained. I did the walk with a large team of people but I only knew one other person on our party. I don't like meeting new people and so I didn't put forth a large effort to make new friends. Anyway, when I went to register for the walk, the girl who assisted me was literally wearing short the size of panties and when she bent over, EVERYTHING hung out, camel toe is in this season, just so you know. It really wasn't booty short weather, 60 and raining, muchless a booty short occassion.

I often ponder why people allow other people, whom they supposedly love, to go out in public dressed as they do. If we were all a bit more proactive at this, just think about what other people wouldn't be forced to see! It'd be the end of plumber butt.

Elliptical Pt 2

So I love my brand new elliptical to repace the old new one that got broken after a week of ownership (don't let people borrow your stuff!) There's one small problem with the new machine: they never charged me for it. When I called the store about the machine being broken they accredited my account (I didn't know this) right before they arranged pick up of the broken machine and delivery of a new one. In all of the hassle, the woman never went back and charged me for the new machine. I'm not a theif and so my goal for the week is calling the store back and paying for the machine they literally gave me. I would love to accomplish this without getting the lovely woman who made the mistake in any trouble though, because she was very nice and helpful, even if she assisten me in accidentally stealing $300. Have you ever pointed out a mistake like this to a salesperson? I usually do when it happens. My sister (the one with the kids) thinks I'm nuts for paying for it.

jellyfish

Tomorrow I am going to celebrate the jewish holiday, being that I'm not a jew, by going to the national aquarium. They've got a new exhibit and my guy and I make it a point to go 3-4 times a year. We've arranged someone to watch the baby, bought our tickets online (worh the $3 fee to avoid standing in line!), and will set out at 9:30ish for our 10am entry. It'll only take us about 15 minutes to get there, but we've to park the car. My guy wants to go to ESPN zone when we're done at the aquarium, and i've agreed to spend ONE HOUR in my own personal hell just for him. Who knows? maybe i can go to barnes and nobel while he's at espn?

Here's a picture from the aquarium's website about the new jellyfish exhibit.

grape ape

the chimp is considered as a "great ape." i remember learning this many year ago, but re-learned it tonight. i was having problems sleeping tonight, so i watched a national geographic special on captive chimps and increasing violence. Half into the show, one woman worried about why male chimps in captivity have heart failure more than ones in the wild and speculated that it was the stress of living in captivity. Good theory. However, my counter theory is that it's the fact that they were feeding the chimps mcdonal's and pizza hut not to mention fried eggs and bacon on a regular basis. Having that as a steady diet causes heart problems in people, so why wouldn't it do the same for chimps, who are practically identical internally to people? Chimps don't eat cooked food in the wild and they really don't eat deep-fat fried foods either.

personally, i don't think people should be allowed to have chimps as pets, as they're dangerous after 10 or so years of age and most of them end up becoming test animals after a few years anyway. According to the special, there are two "western" countries that allow chimps as test animals, the US and Gabon. Although, without chimp testing, we wouldn't have many of our vaccines and woudn't be able to have new vaccines. Have to fight over the "rights" of chimps and the needs of people there, so people get ugly at this argument. It was an interesting part of the show. apparently, in spain, great apes are given rights as animals akin to "human rights." huh. The idea is that chimps have the abilities of a 2 year old human, so experimenting on them is the same as experimenting on humans with the abilities of a 2 year old, which is illegal based on ethical standards and thus should be illgal to experiment on apes.

i'm not sure where i stand on that point. i feel bad for the apes, but i like having vaccines and hope we get more of them in the future. but anyway, if you feed a chimp crap, don't be shocked when he's got a heart problem.

Huge Bear of Kindness

A few weeks back we took my sister's kids to the state fair. My friend gets free enterance tickets because she's a state grunt. We went last year too but with more people. Our party consisted of me, Mandolin, my friend, my nephew, my niece and my brother-in-law. Last year we spent a small fortune on food, drinks, and rides. This year I was set against that. I told the kids that I'd buy one snack, three rides apiece and took in water to drink. I've been on a mission to "become healthy" since my hand gimpy issue, so Bert wouldn't recognize me if he saw me today. I'm smaller, with different hair and I smile a lot. Apparently, it's working because people who know me don't recognize me. Because of this, I refused to spend money on pure crap while at the fair. I didn't eat anything deep fried etc. This was a struggle because my sister's kids have been raised to only eat toxic waste. My nephew actually looked at me and said "I can't drink that, that's water!" He drank it after he was thirsty enough though. Jilly was a bitch and didn't give in.

Anyway, The day we went to the fair was free day for people with significant physical and mental disabilities, so every "differently abeled" person in the state was there. I'm open to differences so I wasn't bothered. As we went into the gate, a man stopped us and gave us his "ride all day" pass, which was very expensive. It was a nice gesture ruined by my brother-in-law being scared by the man because he was severly disabeled. I felt like super momma having "the talk" after thanking the man. You parents know the talk, the one you have with your kids about not pointing at people who look/act different. I never thought I'd have to have it with a 23 year old man and not the kids. Anyway, we bought a second all day ride pass because it was actually cheaper and the tickets for three rides. 2 minutes into our trip and I'd already covered half my promise.

We went off to see the animals, petting zoo and all sorts of other baby safe but free stuff. I love Mandolin, but she's a baby, you don't need to spend money to make them happy. A man in the cow barn loved her, so she got to pet a pretty calf until she was satisfied. I got the kids lunch and had the soda fight. I brought in a BIGASS bottle of water with cups (never drink after young children) and refilled the bottle at water fountains throughout the day. The kids rode many rides and we got to people watch. I love to people watch. Something about the fair allows people to wear things no one should wear out in public and behave in odd ways. I had the time of my life playing "fat or pregnant." Although we can't be sure, I won the game but my friend came in a close second.

At one point, a man waled by with a teddy bear the size of my car. Mandolin was so enthralled that her uncle took her to talk to the man. My kid has no issues talking to strangers if they're holding toys. The man explained that he won it playing a pool game and the carnie running the game sid he was the only winner that day. They talked for about 20 minutes while my friend and I watched the older kids. I mostly stood outside a ride with one kid and she stood waiting for the other. Three adults and three kids is a good balance. This was at 4pm or so because we adults hadn't eaten yet. Later we adults ate and took a tour of 4H etc. then let the kids ride rides until 9:30 pm. Just as we were getting rady to go, someone started yelling "MANDOLIN" throughout the crowd. We were confused because it's not a common name and we didn't recognize the voice. the man from before went back to the pool game and won a second teddybear the size of my car to give to Mandolin because he thought she deserved it. I was so shocked. We didn't know this man from pete. He won the bear and then walked around the fair for 2 hours looking for us hoping we hadn't left. It was so sweet. The man explained that he won the first bear for his great-grand daughter and he figured that Mandolin was someones granddaughter and so she needed a bear too. The bear took up the entire back seat of my car and weighs a ton. I'll have to take a picture of it and show you as soon as I get a new camera battery. It currently lives on top of Mandolin's playhouse. So Mr teddy guy, if you're out there, thanks for the bear, Mandolin loves it and it was one of the nicest things a stranger has ever done for me/my family.

Answering Bert

"Bert said... Where are your sister's kids now? Were you ratting her out, or the crack whore cousin? Does the crack whore cousin have kids? When did you sister lose all sense of proportion when it came to her offspring?"

To fill in some of the gaps:

I called CPS on CW, not my sister, but I'm sure once CPS gets to investigating CW, they'll stop in at my sister's place. CW in fact has a few kids. She had several abortions in one year, then had a baby that same year and a little more than a month after that baby was born was knocked up again and gave that baby away. I'm not sure why she kept the one she kept. I really think she gave the one kid up because in our state, more kids = less money. Besides being a CW, she has an illegal/unlicensed tattooing gig on the side for under-the-table money. So besides welfare, she's got a few under-the-table gigs to rack in some money. I have a friend who works for the state tax department who wanted to report the fraud, but on top of the CPS thing, that would just be petty, right?

My sister refuses to send her kids to school and states that "CW is her only child care option, since she can't afford private school." School just started, so she could send them there FOR FREE, or I would take them, and offered to do it. I have the added bonus of being allowed to educate kids and would actually educate them and there'd be no worry of drug deals etc. I'm most angry at my sister because I told her about the conversation, and she didn't seem to care, in fact, she knew it was going on and keeps sending the kids there. If i found out that Mandolin's daycare had anything shady going on, I'd find a new daycare AFTER calling the cops. I think my sister has had what I'd consider skewed parenting values for awhile now, but in my family, there's a "hands off" policy when it comes to other people's kids. This is why I'll probably be disowned across the table. It doesn't matter if the kids are beig harmed, we're supposed to butt out. Obviously, I didnt follow that rule.

This rule is in fact hypociritcal because one of the many reasons I haven't spoken to my mother since Feb. is because she wouldn't utt-out of my life and made me choose between my child's health and her. I picked my kid and that's the end of it. I've seen my mother since Feb, but we haven't said more than "hello" or other very small talk. The other day she called me and started in on it again, but I got off the phone quickly and have decided not to talk to her again. Who would have thought that my guy's parents would be the sane ones?

Raggedy Ann

This is the costume I got Mandolin for Halloween. Several of the reviews stated that the costume was so loved the girls wearing it refused to take it off. I thought that this was overblown, but after I put it on Manolind, she refused to take it off. She loves the whole outfit. A lot of kids hate hats, but mine loves them. She also likes socks, which this costume has. It's sized 2t-4t, so she's swallowed up a bit in it, but that's okay. When it came time to put the costume away, WW3 took place, but a quick trip to the consequence chair knocked that out. For now, it's up high in a safe place. I can't wait to take her out in it. Last year she couldn't walk yet, so this year is the real deal for trick-or-treating.

misty

i loved the misty books when i was little. we went to chincoteague for a few days on vacation this past weekend. it was a nice trip. the only down side was the baby lost her $50 shoes so i had to go get new ones today. i have camping and pony pics to share, so look out.

busy fingers

I've been scarf making up a storm. I love making scarves, it brings me some peace when I can't do other things.

Bert, I made something for your lovely wife, so can you e-mail me an address to send it to?

Emma, I made you a scarf, so let me know where to mail it.

Mel, I promised you a black scarf some years back, and I have had it ready for a few years, I just need to know where to mail it to.

All of my relations got scarves for last christmas and they've asked to be spared scarves this year (ingrates), so the rest of you broards should expect a scarf at some point. I'm almost out of storage room as it is from ym current stock. I'm going to donate the pink ones to a local BC charity.

Tyrant

I found her potty training Super Grover today.

I heard her say "Sit down! Now, stay. Good Girl."

I had no idea I was a tyrant. You people should have told me that I'm a tyrant so I could prepare myself for her teenage years.

What stop sign?

When I get together with my friends we laugh a lot, and I really mean a lot. We often laugh so hard we can't stop no matter where we are or what we're doing. My friend S was in the ER last month and the doctors and nurses were cracking up at the show. My friend V saw an elderly man on a gurney go by and said "Is he dead, he looks dead?" A few minutes later he was pushed back by her and he started humming the goodbye song. What did V do? She started singing it with him and dancing.
This is incident is very typical of us when we go out. The three of us are often like an episode of "I Love Lucy." Anyway, the other day I was driving my friend S somewhere when I got distracted. This guy was jogging on by minding his own. I admire people who jog. My guy is a jogger and X-country runner. Me? I'm not a runner. I love my elliptical and mourn my treadmill heavily, but I'll never be a runner or jogger. So, when I see people go outside when it's 100+ and run around in tiny little shorts and smile when they do it, I always stop and pay a few seconds homage to them. This was a terrible mistake on my part. This man was smokin' hot. He had an ass that could crack walnuts and thighs of steel. He wasn't bulky, but slim like the runner he was. God damn that man looked good. What? I can look if he can run around half naked and show it off.

Anyway, I was so enthralled with oogling I forgot that I was supposed to be operating a car full of people (no worries THEY were oogling the same man and describing his hottness level too, so I wasn't alone bein irresponsible). It seems that I ran a stop sign while contemplating his ass. I have never run a stop sign or gotten a ticket before in my life. Also, I have only ever had one parking ticket and it was through a private agency, so it isn't on my record. Anyway, this was a big deal because I am the VOICE OF REASON of our little group. When someone has to make a decision or tell someone something they need to hear, I'm always forced to do it (because I used my uterus and they didn't, bitches). Anyway, when I lose all reason, they're so shocked. Sheesh, no one is perfect all the time.

Lovely and Lumpy

I went to the OBGYN today for my well woman's exam. The woman was nice and I remember meeting her when I was pregnant and swollen and visiting the office three times a week. After performing the exam, she turned to me and said " we need to talk. you have lumpy breasts." It took a moment for me to think of an appropriate response. I'm ashamed to say that all I could think of was saying "thanks." I mean, is there an appropriate response to that conversation starter?

I'm not overly worried about my lumpy breasts because I check them every month and have never felt anything out of the ordinary. She was very surprised when I told her that I actually check myself out and wished more women spent a few minutes doing it. I told her my friend Jean had breast cancer and had to go through hell to get the proper diagnosis and then to recover from BC and that was motivation enough for me. So, here I sit with my thankful but lumpy breasts happy that all of that business is over for another year.

last straw

This summer:

1. my dishwasher died (my kitchen is the size of a spot-a-pot, so this was a big deal for me)
2. My fridge died and then took weeks to get the new one installed (see #1 as to why this was hard. We didn't have food in the house for weeks and my daughter can now order fast food. just what a good mother likes to see.... )
3. The garbage disposal in the sink needed service (it fell off!)
4. The pipes in the kitchen needed replacing (brown water shot out of the sink)
5. My laptop battery died (fucking dell)
6. My treadmill died
7. My neck/shoulder/arm injury was re-injured
8. My asthma medications damaged my liver (let's see breathe or have a working liver?)

I know other people have it worse than I do, but this is my spot to bitch, so I'm going to bitch for a second. I can't wait for fall.

some promised pictures

Who cares about the $300 play house when you've got a $40 dog carrier?





The joys of a slip 'n slide.
This is part of my back yard. I didn't lie when I said it's big, green, and flat without a tree in sight.







It's hard work going to see daddy at work, good thing we brought a book.












Once more around the block Momma


Mandolin with Aunt SiuSiu taking out the Pinata














Yumm Fresh Crabs. Picking them isn't so much fun, my fingers hurt for a week after, but the soup was great.








My birthday cake, it's a sand cake.








This is my carebear that friends gave me when I was in college. Mandolin has adopted it and even though they're the same size, she tries to take it everywhere.

Tonight

I broke the sacred rule against turning the oven on before October. I made brownies and apple cinnamon muffins.

My elliptical machine has been shipped. I pulled a muscle in my right arm (making it hard to type this) and Mandolin is recovering from a nasty bought of facial hives from an allergic reaction to salad dressing of all things.

My guy goes back to work teaching next week and I don't. Overall, life is pretty good here, how about you?

Keep it Clean

Anyone who knows me knows that I love to cuss like smokers like to smoke. After I found out that baby bean was coming, many promises were made to eliminate my cussing habit. Really, you don't want to be the parent that has the kid who says "fuck" in preschool. I've been very good with kicking the habit (in my opinion) except when under extensive stress, like the fridge problem.

Anyway, today my friend was using my beloved treadmill (one of my most treasures possessions), which is fine as i only need it for an hour and a half a day afterall, when suddenly there was a banging sound and the treadmill died. I had a feeling I knew that the problem was. A few weeks back Mandolin found a box of domino tiles and put them inside the treadmill and under the belt. I got some out, but there were over fifty in the damned box and I'm only one person, plus the treadmill worked fine even though it made a tinkling sound if one ran fast.

Now, most sane people would have said "let's leave it alone, we're idiots and can't fix a treadmill." Apparently my friend and I are not sane people, keep that in mind. So, after 30 or so minutes of messing with stuff that probably shouldn't be messed with (it was my job to distract the baby and hold the flashlight) we ran into a small problem with the treadmill. This resulted in two fingers on my right hand being injured. It hurt so bad, i swear i felt it in my hair. My first instinct was to use all of the glorious nasty words I was taught while working as an engineer. They all flashed through my head in a way I'd imagine my life would have if I was in danger of death. I didn't say one of them. I took a deep breath and then a few more, backed away from the evil, vile, horrible treadmill that mangled my poor fingers and didn't teach my kid any nasty words.

The ring and pinky fingers on my right hand are a lovely shade of purple that Kathryn would appreciate. My friend and later my guy were so amazed at my control and ability to keep it clean, that my guy bought my an elliptical and made an appointment to have the treadmill looked at by someone who isn't an idiot. I never thought I'd see the day where I didn't lament my promise to keep it clean.

Making a statement

One of the best and worst things about young children is their lack of social knowledge. If a bucket fits as a hat, wear it. If while walking through a restaurant you want to stop and say hello to everyone and maybe try and sit with strangers, do it. Yesterday at the bookstore, Mandolin made off with somebody's overpriced iced coffee drink because said person had the audacity to set it down at their table and she was thirsty. Drinking after other people is gross and stealing is wrong, but she doesn't know that yet. In order to teach her that people shouldn't steal or drink after strangers, she's going to learn that wearing a bucket on her head isn't acceptable either. So for now, I get to enjoy her testing the waters by wearing buckets on her head and putting on 5 adult sized scarves in July.

These shoes were made for walking

I've been spending a lot of time on the treadmill this week and now I have blisters on my feet. I spent about 90 minutes on the treadmill today and so tomorrow I'm off to get a better pair of shoes fo walking. I like shoes, but I hate shoe shopping, so this will annoy me. good thing tomorrow is Mandolin's daycare day. She loves shoe shopping and there's no way I'd get out of the stoe without a big fuss. The main problem with her shoes is she has giant flat hobbit feet like her daddy and I have to spend about $60 for each pair of her shoes.

Who the hell wants to live in Delaware?

http://jilliansway.com/

I used to own this domain. Do you think I could get them to pay me for it?

Hello Again

Bert was right, I have no excuse not to operate a blog again. My only real excuse is that I'm lazy, and that's not really a valid excuse.




This is a picture of the ducks who live next door in the cemetery after we get a lot of rain. They even stop by in the winter time. Mandolin likes to point at any bird she sees and tell me it's a duck.

Anyway, i'll post some pictue of the kid when I switch to a different computer.