minding my own business

I don't know how Orbie does it, but she's my HERO.

Several weeks ago a woman approached me about making something for her. We talked about price etc. and struck a deal and exchanged info. I spent the time making the item (a fashion shawl and then a shawl pin to go with). When I was done making the items, I e-mailed her about arranging pick-up and payment. She's since fallen off the earth. This irks me. Why go to the trouble of arranging for someone to spend 10-12 hours making you something (not to mention the expense of materials) if you're not going to follow through? The price wasn't a lot of money considering the item and the wait wasn't long, about 7-8 days. When something like this happens, it makes me want to quit making stuff for money.

People have urged me to set up a website and online portfolio where people commission me for work instead of me making random items and selling them. Fine, but where's the incentive if people are going to renege? My guy has urged me to forget this woman and just sell her shawl and pin online for the same price or more than she was willing to pay to the first person who wants it. Also, I have other customers who haven't backed out etc., so it's not like all faith is lost, but really! Sometimes people suck.

I'm really thinking about setting up private lessons/small classes teaching crochet to people. If you were to take a crochet class at JoAnne's or Michael's, you'd pay anywhere from $30-$50 for one 3hr session or 2 3hr sessions with a group of strangers and learn basic skills like single/half double/double crochet in rows and in rounds as well as rocking the eer traditional granny square. You probably wouldn't complete a project, just get it started with instructions on how to finish it. I know the teacher doesn't get to keep all that money, but seriously, I could do that one-on-one (always the BEST way to learn) for less money than they're asking customers to pay and toss in a few more sessions and help the person complete the whole project. Plus, I'd get to keep the money and not pay out a portion to the craft store.

I found a "class" where one becomes "certified" by the yarn craft council/crochet guild of america to teach people to crochet. You really just complete some assignments, go through an interview or two and are then given the OK to market yourself to the major chain stores as a teacher for the low price of $150. I could do this and probably pretty fast, since I've already been teaching people and making expert grade projects. Heck, I know how to teach people all kinds of crazy junk according to the state I live in, I just choose not to... so why not this?

Anyway, I've been thinking of what it would take to start my own official commission based business (you know, with a website and business cards etc.) and or offering private lessons/small classes.

Oh, this is a pic of a shawl i made similar to the one that's for sale. The for sale one is the same as this one, but it isn't as wide (top to bottom) as this one. It's about 4" thinner. I made this one for me because I'm always cold, so I wanted a huge shawl I can bundle up in. The woman wanted one like mine, but more of a "fashion" item, rather than one to keep warm, so I made it smaller.

grassroots

I got an e-mail that made me think of a conversation I once had with Verb about religion.

I belong to the united methodist church (UMC). Since the 1970s, the UMC has had a stand on homosexuality that's, in my opinion, very split or outright hypocritical. They're trying to appease everyone but really alienating most (again my opinion). The UMC policy on homosexuals is as follows: homosexuals can be members of the church without discrimination (the UMC "open door" policy has been widly publicized) but homosexuals cannot hold leadership positions, become ministers of the church, or be married in the church. Any ministers found officiating a gay marriage are subject to disciplinary action from the national UMC.

A church in our conference (the Baltimore-Washington conference) has recently held a vote and stated that they're going to allow gay marriage in their church in response to the federal marriage equity act from march 2010. Bishop Schol (the bishop in charge of the B-W conference of UMC) released a statement to all members about this action. He was there for the vote and is ripped up over it. He out-right said in his letter that these are troubled times and hinted at a major confrontation coming in the future. It won't be the first, or the last, but when there's a big conflict in the UMC, the UMC usually splits and divides creating a new church (the UMC has a very long and interesting history of this).

I personally do not understand how the church's standpoint of "open doors" is considered "open" and "tolerant" because at the same time the doors are open, the Book of Discipline (the rule book of the UMC church) allows for discrimination based on sexual orientation. Telling someone "you can come to the church, but you can't really participate" is like telling an athlete that they made the team, but they don't get to play, EVER. People who are against homosexuality lose out because the church bars discrimination against homosexuals who wish to attend, but then the homosexuals lose out because they can't really do anything in the church beyond attending. I know that's part of compromise, but shouldn't a compromise at least attempt to serve the population? No one is really being served by the current standard. It's a cop-out, really a way of saying "we'll let other people deal with it in the future." Well, it's the future.

I understand that there's a lot of gray, and they're trying to make everyone happy. But guess what? I was in first grade when I REALLY figured out that you can't make everyone happy. We were having inside recess because of rain and that meant games in the room. We could play a class-wide game, like seven-up, or play board games. There was a vote and we ended up playing a class-wide game. Some will win and some will lose, that's life.

I think the UMC has done a disservice by ignoring this fact. I have a friend who was about to complete his master's of divinity at wesley in DC and wanted to go through the ordination process. he had a good job as a seondary minister at a church we attended. Many of us knew about his homosexuality, and we didn't care. He was a good man and was good at his job. The fact that he'd had a male partner for almost 15 years didn't hamper his understanding or ability to do the job. At some point (i'm not sure of the whole story, as I wasn't attending that church at the time it all went down) his homosexuality became known and he was stripped of his job at the church and black-listed form further employment. He has since completed the master's of divinity and is now working on his PhD, but has left the UMC to go to another protestant church. His new church has been given a gift in the form of his talents and calling and the UMC made a big error when they alienated him. (again, all my opinion).

Individual churches are now making a stand against the regional and national UMC and after enough of it builds up, things will change. I hope it all remains peaceful, but I think that the book of discipline will have to be addressed soon and if the church has to split, so-be-it. Our church should serve us while serving the Lord. There are few rules attached to christianity, but the ones that are there are firm. We're not to judge others, we're to love them more than we love ourselves and we're supposed to love the Lord more than we love ourselves. I don't think that the UMC rules allow us to follow the Lord's rules. Jesus didn't tell us to love the people we think that the Lord wants us to love, he said we need to love everyone, especially the people that are marginalized by society. So, while I was sad during Bishop Schol's letter, I was happy too, because change is blowing in the wind, and that means there's an opportunity for us all to do what we should have been doing.

my place

so tonight i went to my monday night prayer shawl group and most of us showed up, but our fearless leader had something else to do. We thought about where we could go (since her office was out of the question) and I said "you know that room upstairs, the pretty blue one with the lovely couches? I like that room." the other women looked at me and their faces lit up. We'd found our spot.

this room was decorated by someone with a lot of good taste and talent. She took all the donated stuff at the church and painted, re-finished, re-covered and just re-did it all to create a beautiful peaceful parlor for all the women's circles to meet in. The room is mostly white with shades of blue scattered about and it's the room i'd have if someone said "what would you like jilly?"

It's got 2 sofas, a love seat, two squishy chairs, a small piano, end tables and a lovely coffee table. There are mirrors on the walls that were tiled to match the tiled table. The flower arrangements and drapes are subtle and tasteful. It's not at all like being in a doctor's office or hotel. It's like being in your own home when you're in this room. We had a great time in it and the other women cofessed that they too felt like they were home in this room. I thought they'd make fun of me for liking this room so much, but they didn't, they understood.

i dream of having a room like this in my own home. A room where I can just go and sit and crochet, maybe have a fire in the fireplace and just let all the junk go. a family room/living room/den has never been that for me. I'm not a big TV fan and would rather listen to music or the radio than watch TV, but i do like listening to documentaries while crocheting if the TV must be on. i like the sound of silence, and i like order. Very little in my house is ordered or silent currently, and it's not from my lack of trying.

if i could, i'd take pictures of this room and put them aside for one day, when my house is nearly empty, so i can have my room. for today, i'll just have to borrow the one at the church and hare it with all the other women who want a room too and hope to find the woman who made that room and thank her, because it's looking like it'll be years before i can have my own place here.