Wednesday, July 6, 2011

happy bitchday to you

the 4th is my aunt's birthday. my mom and all of her siblings were all born on holidays. they feel my grandmother did that on purpose so as to never buy a birthday gift or have a party for any of her kids. she was a mean old cuss, so they're probably right. at the annual family 4th crab feast/birthday party for my aunt, my other aunt insisted that it's never a birthday party, it's a BITCHDAY party. my aunt is famous for being a nasty piece of work who frequently makes others (like receptionists, wait staff etc.) cry, and when she drinks she's worse.

my younger sister and i thought that "bitchday" was hysterical and are now planning a joint bitchday party for the end of the month. our birthdays are a week apart and she'll be 25 and I'm turning 30. She's now old enough to be in congress and i'm now old enough to be in the senate, and being july babies, we've discussed a patriotic/election theme of red, white, and blue with bitchday paper goods. I'm not sure what we'll have besides the require cake, crabs, and vodka watermelon, but there's gotta be a pool or body of water because i get hot flashes when i drink, and there's no better reason to get rip roaring drunk than one's 30th bitchday.

Friday, June 17, 2011

back from atlanta and other mundane nonsense

we got back from our atlanta trip at 9pm on monday night. this week has been spent putting everything back where it goes, getting re-acquainted with MissM, and with the guy finishing out the school year on all fronts.

I liked NC and GA a lot. The people were very friendly and honestly happy to be helpful and the weather was perfect. The day we got to atlanta, I toured centennial olympic park and the underground. We got there in the afternoon/evening, so there wasn't too much for me to do. The first full day I took a self-paced walking civil rights tour of Atl guided by a print-out provided by an online travel site.

I saw Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's childhood home, his church, the new church, the park service memorial and garden, the tomb (awesome!), the center for non-violence, the fire station, bought a snack from the old church's bake sale, visited the dobb's memorial, saw the SCLC center and many other things. I also took a swim by the pool. Many people brought their entire families along on the trip and it was popular for the adults to spend a full 8 hours n the conference whilst leaving their young children unattended at the pool all day. The kids were not bad, but it was crowded, loud, and full of un-watched children, so the one visit to the pool was plenty.

thenext day I took the car out of the valet parking after 45 mins of playing "no that's not my name, no that's not my car, no that's not my car either, no it's a blue car, no we're from Maryland...." Thankfully, I was afraid of complications with the valet parking and with my ability to find my way to the beltway etc., so I'd planed on leaving an hour early for my appointment. After all the fuss, I made it just in time and all was well. After my meeting, I went back to the hotel, changed and went off to the Peachtree MARTA stop to go uptown a bit and see the Margaret Mitchell "House" museum and then walked over to the botanical gardens and piedmont park. I liked the statue "Isobel in the Garden" so much, i bought the post card of it at the gift shop and mailed it to MissM. I also mailed post cards of pitcher plants to my inlaws (they love pitcher plants and irises to my parents (they love irises and have about a hundred bulbs in one tiny patch of the front yard). You can find a picture of "Isobel..." at the Atl botanical gardens website under art. it really is a lovely garden.

It was a nice trip uptown and back to peachtree center to the hotel, and since I went on saturday, there were few people to contend with. I had lunch at peachtree mall and got carry out there for later when my guy was done his day of meetings. I also took time to work out in the gym at the hotel. the hotel had an awesome gym and nice tight men to look at while working out. I don't mind running for an hour if there's a good view. My guy was unable to go out a lot in the evenings due to PhD coursework. Last week was not only his conference, but the last week of his internship. This week he completes the last of his coursework for the PhD and is about to take on Comps. I am so happy for and proud of him. We've been having fun debating his proposal and dissertation topic. He seems happy that i'm one of 8 people in the world who has an interest in his topic.

Sunday am I took care of all the packing, depositing the luggage in to the car and check out. I was ill on Sunday and just getting out of bed took a lot of praying. The hotel kept the car until 5pm w/o extra charge, so we'd planned to walk over to the aquarium and see that before leaving. While waiting for my guy's conference to end, I walked around "america's mart" to look at the window displays and to take a few pics of things I hadn't taken pics of before, like the Suntrust Center etc. I thought walking around would keep me upright, and it helped.

The aquarium is nice. It's very large, they're not kidding that it's the largest. I don't think it's the nicest one I've been in though. They had many large tanks with a small handful of large animals in them, but all-in-all, one can see 95% of the aquarium in about an hour. Other aquariums are smaller, but since there are more tanks, there's more to see. It's worth the nearly $30 a person to get in, but at $1.50 for one banana, I'd skip the "snack bar" and just eat after the tour. We did not visit the "world of coke," CNN, stone mountain, the children's museum, or the zoo, due to time and lack of a small child. If we ever come back and have the kid, we'll do those other things.

The only harsh point of the trip was sitting on 85N for 4 hours trying to drive 4miles from the GA line into SC. A tractor trailer full of gas had exploded halting all travel. I am not sure if the driver survived, but his entire truck, cab and all, was in tiny ribbons all over the road, so it's doubtful. this put us behind schedule to get home and we made it to our hotel in NC at midnight.

The drive from the hotel in NC to home takes about 8 hours, so my guy insisted about 75 times that we leave before 9am when we went to bed. My guy is not a morning person, so when 9am rolled around and I was sitting there waiting for him to roll out of bed, I knew we'd be lucky to make it out of the hotel by 10:30am. We left at 10:38 am. We were both tired of being anywhere but home at this point. We made it to quantico, VA at about 5:20ish and stopped for a meal at a mcD's to wait for the traffic on the DC beltway to die down. It was pretty much an expensive parking lot and neither of us had the ability to tackle it.

I have a lot of pictures to post on FB and some here, but i'm waiting for the big PC to come back from the fix-it shop before i upload.

A few days before we left for Atl, my aunt took me, my mom, her sisters, and her daughter and one of my cousins and his wife to see Kenny Chesney and friends in concert at redskins FedEx field in landover, MD. It was a great show and she's a wonderful lady to take us all and put up with us too boot. I wasn't originally invited, so it's even more special that when one of my other aunts backed out, she thought of me.

oh i also got new glasses last week. I allowed MissM to pick them out. They're a blueish green with butterflies on them. I really didn't care too much what they looked like and she really liked picking, so we had as much fun as you can have picking out glasses. I can't wait for them to come in b/c i'm not supposed to drive at night w/o them.

next week is full of camping in the back yard, going to the doctor with MissM and continuing to pick tomatoes, peppers, strawberries and cheer on the squash. Oh and I think her first piano lesson is next week, if she feels up to it after the doctor apt on wed.

tomorrow my mom and I are having a picnic at a park for my dad for father's day. It'll be them, me, MissM and a few of my cousin's kids to play with missM and we'll probably just get subway and take it to the park. no one felt like doing much of anything, and that's about as low-key as you can get.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

angry in the heat

I am so angry right now I am crying and shaking and want to puke.

My guy has 2 best friends. He asked me if I minded cooking for them on Monday. I said okay. I like them and it's only 2 more people to our family dinner, so what the hey? We're not having a big party nor are we going to one. Again, it's just a family dinner with 2 extra chairs. Okay, that's how it started anyway.

I have a rule that works for ME in regards to my weight loss, so I have to do it. It's simply this: no food comes into my house that I can't eat NOR do I cook food that I can't eat. Sure, in theory, I can eat anything, but I really can't. Chips, sugary drinks, most candy, most processed foods, full fat meats etc. aren't to be found in my house.

In the past 2 years I've been living a very healthy lifestyle and I've had to come to terms with a few truths: Few people support or care to support my weight-loss/maintenance venture. People are happy for you if you lose some weight, but the second you put 5-10lbs on, they're the same people who point out that you're getting fat again with happy faces. These are also the fuckers that point out you're too skinny, you were too fat before etc. They're just miserable. They say they do support you, but they really don't. Next is the truth that I am responsible for me and what I do and do not eat no one else. Cooking as much as possible is a big step in controlling myself. Therefore, I will happily prepare food for anyone who wants to eat, but it's made MY WAY. If I go to another home, I often bring my own food. Again, I am responsible for me.

So, that said, I asked my guy to ask his buddies what they WILL NOT eat and then listed several things I had planned to make. I was told "that's fine, whatever you make is fine."

I am ALWAYS told this, and it's usually a lie.

At Christmas, I made tuna steaks and salmon fillets for half the guests and pork chops for the rest. Guests also had a choice of baked potato or baked sweet potato. Everyone chose what they wanted ahead of time. In the middle of dinner, my guy said "Why don't I have a sweet potato? And, you know, I don't like cooked slamon." WTF? he ASKED FOR AWHOTE POTATO AND SALMON! I felt so sick and ill, as if he'd hit me.

So, this am, I explained that over half the food had been bought for Monday and we're having dry-rubbed pork chops, grilled veg, mixed green salad with feta cheese, baked potatoes, slaw, corn bread, and angel food cake with berries and whipped cream. His response? "Most people don't like pork. We should have something else."

I've been asking this fucker for nearly 2 weeks to call his friends and see if they like pork and he waits until I've spent a small fortune on food to want a change? HELL NO!

We had a shouting match and I went off to church this morning feeling sick, hurt and tired. He later sent me a text message saying sorry, but he didn't mean it.

So, later today, at 4:30ish my brother-in-law twxted me that his guest (whom I didn't invite nor do I know) doesn't like pork and the BIL suggested I go get a steak. I responded "I have pork, if you bring steak I'll cook it." the BIL invited someone to my house w/o really ok-ing it with me and THEN waits to the last minute to want me to change my menu? WTF?

This then opened the door for the Guy to get pissy yet again that I'm not changing my menu for these people. I've had that meat dry rubbed and marinating since lsat night, it's too late to change the menu. the veggies are cut, the slaw is waiting for the dressing and the corn bread is waiting to go into the oven. It's TOO LATE PEOPLE!

My guy told me that I'm an unreasonable person and in the rest of the world, people change what they're going to make based off their guests. You know what? For 2 years I've noticed that no one is willing to buy me a bottle of diet coke or leave the sugar out of the tea EVEN IF I ASK unless it was part of their plan already. So, me, I being my own food or scavenge as best I can. Why? Because my lifestlye is up to me, even when I'm a guest. Especially when I'm a guest.

It's one thing to just buy pork and make it w/o caring, but I did spend the better part of TWO GODDAMNED WEEKS asking people and got 85 responses of "whatever you want." Well, I'm calling it in, it is WHAT I WANT, eat up or get out.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

hey, at least it's not cancer, right?

My dad's doing better. The people at Hopkins were amazing and if I have to go to the hospital in future, I want to go there.

Our week in the midwest was nice. the people were douchebags, which is odd, b/c people in the midwest are usually so nice it's almost painful. I think it's b/c the universities were in session. We also saw some of that crazy tornado action while in the midwest. Glad we've only had tiny little tornadoes here, nothing big enough to really make the news.

In other events, I had to go to a special lady parts doctor (as we've been calling it) and am now on hormones. Like i needed more hormones? I'm already half nuts! One of the side effects of the hormones is randomly rapidly swelling of body parts. I sat with my best female friend and brother in law and we laughed ourselves silly imagining the worst-case scenario of randomly rapidly swelling body parts. Imagine you're just chilling when all of a sudden, your ass cheeks swell randomly and rapidly? We had to lave a good laugh, because I really felt like a cry, or some good old rage. laughing was healthier.

So, I'm on these babies for the next 2 weeks to see if they sort my ovaries out, and if that doesn't do it, we're off to another specialist for more testing and possibly hormone injections/fertility drugs. If that happens, there will be much boo-hooing, whining, and complaining here. Just a warning. Several more relatives of mine are recently knocked up without planning/wanting to be, and me? Yet another year of infertility. I don't know how much more of the baby talk I can suffer though. I try to be nice and happy, but it's damn hard. What's worse, is the sudden silence when I walk into a room and being left out of stuff "for my own good." Bitches.

Hey, at least it's not cancer, right? That's what I was told to say to myself when I started to cry at the Dr's office. I wanted to say "But hey, at least it's not cancer, right" as i bashed the woman's head in with my sandals. How fucking stupid does these people get? I wonder if that rage warning from the hormones applies to just holding the script, not even taking it?

Monday, April 11, 2011

24 hours

I've been awake roughly 24+ hours. I am hot, tired, filthy, and happy (but still worried).

My dad had heart bypass surgery this today at Hopkins. He's currently in ICU pretty much tied to a bed with a tube down his throat, but he's doing well. In about 2-3 hours, he'll come off the ventilator and by tomorrow night, sitting in a chair. If all keeps going well, then he'll be out of the ICU on Wed and into a recovery room.

The staff at the hospital have been the loveliest people around. The Doctors joked with us about beer in the blood coolers and other such nonsense. It's been very hot since Sunday, after being very cold last week.

When you think of all the crap going on, it's nice to see people who always see crap but STILL take the time to make things easier for people who are all under stress.

My FIL has been an absolute gem and has come up to my house to sit with MissM for 8-9 hour stretches so that I can be there for my parents. She's been awesome in that she's being a good girl.

I hope you NEVER have to see a loved one strapped to a bed on a ventilator, it's scary and shocking.

Many people today took the time to make the day easier for others and that was refreshing. One woman was in the waiting room and her cell phone died. The other families and staff hunted until they found a phone charger for her so she could call her family at the hotel and keep them updated.

People from all over the world go to Hopkins looking (and often finding) and miracle after doctors other places have turned them away or failed them. I am humbled that this operation has been a relatively smooth process.

It was also terribly sad to watch the young children waiting for surgery and procedures. The Peds surgery unit was next to the unit my dad was in. I hope to never have to take my daughter to the Peds unit at any hospital.

Sunday, March 27, 2011


Recently I've been getting a lot of invites to parties and events via facebook and e-mail. We're not talking an e-card or pretty e-invites either. I mean, I've been getting at the most a 3 sentence note "X's birthday is this weekend at B's place. See you at 12pm. He likes superheroes and wears 5T clothing."

I understand people don't have a lot of time/money to send out fancy invitations and the mail system is often cumbersome. However, some part of me feels this e-mail/facebook invite to an event thing is just tacky. These events aren't formal, and there aren't 100's of people coming (like i large charity event), so I personally feel a phone call would best replace the mailed invitation, if mailed invites are not possible. I also understand that some events must be last second (like the "going off to fight in the middle east" parties that I've been to).

I've also noted a trend, that these "facebook invites" (I know, they aren't all facebook, but that's what I'm calling them all b/c I can) are always for events that have been arranged well ahead of time, but the invites themselves are a last second effort (much like the phone call invites seem to be, when I get them). The sender takes the time to plan theme, music, food, decorations, the whole shebang and then 3 days before the event, "Oh, right, the guests! My bad!" I understand that many people are douche bags and don't RSVP, so it's hard to guess numbers, and when hosting a party, numbers are impt but if you WANT people to come, the invite is important, and so is giving people time to arrange attendance. If I'm getting a last seconding invite, i feel a phone call is more personal than 3 sentences and really says "I want you to come for more than your present purchasing power."

Technology can be wonderful, but I'm quickly becoming tired of the laziness and often out-right rudeness that technology seems to breed when it comes to planning social activities. I try to plan appointments, meetings, occasions, activities, and events within a reasonable time-frame, but it seems like the people around me wing everything and rely on technology to forge the gap. It quite often backfires though. Instead of making a general plan of events ahead of time ex: "Okay, I am going to my meeting at 9, I will then go to X's cafe and meet you at 1pmish for lunch and after that, I'll go to the market and meet you back at home for supper at 6pmish." People randomly expect others to be free to see them whenever & where ever and arrange it all 5mins beforehand by rude, loud, public cell phone convos ex: "I'm at the store. do we need chips....?" and then proceed to do this all over the store while running their carts into things and being walking infected hemorrhoids.

Also, people bitch about their kid's cell phone bills, but when I comment that they can easily remove said phone, they bulk "NO, what if I NEED to talk to them or they NEED to talk to me?" Well, the problem isn't you calling them or they calling you, is it? What did parents do before cell phones? THEY PARENTED. As in "after school, come home, do HW, and then you can go to Cindy's house" or "After school, you have practice? You need a ride at 4:30? Okay, I'll be there at 4:30. You gotta come home and get HW done right? Okay then we'll get your sister from Ballet before that." Same cell phone convo, but it's just done ahead of time and not in the milk aisle. PLANNING. Of the convos I'm forced to hear of this sort, 99.9% could have been done in person ahead of time. Few I've ever heard are b/c of last second emergencies. People don't plan and they don't care if their lack of simple planning F-ups the schedule for the rest of us.

I'm terribly afraid this will start to overflow into the business world (although it seems to already have somewhat). A year or so ago I went to the Dr and sat for 45mins waiting for my apt. I finally got up and asked the receptionist for my file, as I noticed the Dr next door wasn't making patients wait 45mins AND pointed out that the sign on her desk stated that "late apts will be fined or re-scheduled w/o care to patient convenience." Really? If I'm late I get a fine and then assigned a random time no matter wtf is going on in my life, but it's okay for the Dr to keep me there for 45 mins? Where's my $25 fine and my apt that's inconvenient for him?

Anyway, rant over. I just wanted to know if you'd gotten any e-invites to parties and if you thought any were tacky?

Saturday, March 26, 2011

damn you "blogger"

blogger won't allow me to post comments. i don't know why and i don't have the time or energy to mess with it right now. i can post at my blog, but not at the comments section of any other blogs.