Wednesday, July 6, 2011

happy bitchday to you

the 4th is my aunt's birthday. my mom and all of her siblings were all born on holidays. they feel my grandmother did that on purpose so as to never buy a birthday gift or have a party for any of her kids. she was a mean old cuss, so they're probably right. at the annual family 4th crab feast/birthday party for my aunt, my other aunt insisted that it's never a birthday party, it's a BITCHDAY party. my aunt is famous for being a nasty piece of work who frequently makes others (like receptionists, wait staff etc.) cry, and when she drinks she's worse.

my younger sister and i thought that "bitchday" was hysterical and are now planning a joint bitchday party for the end of the month. our birthdays are a week apart and she'll be 25 and I'm turning 30. She's now old enough to be in congress and i'm now old enough to be in the senate, and being july babies, we've discussed a patriotic/election theme of red, white, and blue with bitchday paper goods. I'm not sure what we'll have besides the require cake, crabs, and vodka watermelon, but there's gotta be a pool or body of water because i get hot flashes when i drink, and there's no better reason to get rip roaring drunk than one's 30th bitchday.


  1. Girl I cannot believe you'll be turning THIRTY!!! What an old broard you are!! Happy Bitchday to you!

  2. Yes, have a happy bitchday!!

  3. Happy birthday! You don't look like you're turning 30.
    Bitchday...I'll have to remember that. :)