repost: dec 2010 in pics

In no apparent order:
dragon mom and baby at a walk-through garden light show (MissM's favorite display)
mandolin eating a salad for lunch after church (she's telling me about Jonah having messages for EVERYONE!)
a scarf for one of the ladies at chick-fil-a (she loved it)
bird we saw on a walk (we kept seeing this guy, so maybe he's moved in for good?)
2 bunny blankets 5 baby mermaids and 2 footballs fr the day care kids (they loved it all)
rudolph the red-nosed reindeer gift bags full of the toys for day care (it came out cute)
Gusgus in a gift bag (death wishes!)
MissM in the snow (Apparently snow feels like kisses)
a blue kindle cover for my sister's little kindle (she LOVED it)
an oatmeal flecked kindle cover for my dad's large kindle (he loved it)
MissM's new big girl bed and big girl bed sheets and quilt she got for christmas (did you know that pink ballerinas are THE BEST?)

done.

i'm done. today i got it together enough to complete the shopping and wrap almost all of it. my b-i-l took the tape and paper or i'd be 100% done. I finished making the toys for MissM's daycare party on thursday. I made 5 mermaids, 4 bunny blankets and 2 footballs plus gift bags. One of the bunny blankets and one mermaid were for friends who don't attend the same daycare, but they were on the list. I am in the middle of one kindle cover and thinking about the second. I still need to make 3 prayer shawls, but those will come in 2011. some woman offered me $40 for a baby blanket and then asked for a second (also $40) and $30 for 2 bunny blankets +materials. I just don't feel up to a baby blanket project right now. Tuesday night we're going to take MissM to the light show at the national zoo, i hope i survive it. people in masses get on my nerves at the best of times, but christmas time+my loss+cold+in-laws=disaster. my favorite purchase was buying and then printing an amazon kindle gift certificate for my dad. It took 3 seconds and no real effort from me. amen. MissM did a good job at the advent show at church and will repeat the performance christmas eve. i'm trying to find someone to go with me. i don't have the strength to go alone. one of my best female friends at church is very pregnant and i'm happy for her, but i'm so sad for me. on the 26th i'm supposed to load me and the kid into the van and drive to western md to visit family. the thought of it makes me tired and depressed. i wanted to meet up on the 1st at a restaurant half-way, but they rarely consider what i want. i gave the cards to my guy to mail. if you got one, i'm glad. if you didn't, it's his fault and you should send him vibes to get stamps.

i was in lane bryant earlier getting a gift card for my sister and the cashier was rude to me. i didn't have the energy to call her on it. i explained i wanted a gift card for my sister. she said she thought i was making a credit card payment because i didn't have any items. i was a little shocked that she thought i was there to buy for me, since i'm clearly too small for the store. i stated that i'd lost over 90lbs and that at a size 4, lane bryant just isn't for me, even if the clothing is pretty. she asked if i wanted to get coupons in the mail. that's how my entire week has been since sunday. i think i've had enough and this cloud of misery needs to float on away.

this is how charlie brown feels

lost

i had a miscarriage at 6:30 this morning. i'm having one of the worst days of my life and i just want to crawl into a hole and cry and i can't because i have to choke back my sobs and try to smile and play with my daughter instead. someone has to fix breakfast, fold laundry and go to the store. i want to pretend christmas isn't coming this year too, but that's something else i'll have to sit though and insist that i'm fine, when i'm not. we didn't tell anyone, it was a christmas surprise.

crappy music

You ever been on hold so long that you forgot what you were holding for when you finally got through? Yeah, I hate that too. I'd hang up, but it's actually important. I'm on hold with the Dr. trying to get an apt. This is why people give up and go to the ER.

Update:
I talked to the receptionist for 12 seconds before being put back on hold for another 3 minutes, but after that I got an apt for the 17th, so apparently I was right and i do need to see the Dr. but not that badly.

I Rock!

I fixed the dishwasher all by myself tonight.