repost: dec 2010 in pics

In no apparent order:
dragon mom and baby at a walk-through garden light show (MissM's favorite display)
mandolin eating a salad for lunch after church (she's telling me about Jonah having messages for EVERYONE!)
a scarf for one of the ladies at chick-fil-a (she loved it)
bird we saw on a walk (we kept seeing this guy, so maybe he's moved in for good?)
2 bunny blankets 5 baby mermaids and 2 footballs fr the day care kids (they loved it all)
rudolph the red-nosed reindeer gift bags full of the toys for day care (it came out cute)
Gusgus in a gift bag (death wishes!)
MissM in the snow (Apparently snow feels like kisses)
a blue kindle cover for my sister's little kindle (she LOVED it)
an oatmeal flecked kindle cover for my dad's large kindle (he loved it)
MissM's new big girl bed and big girl bed sheets and quilt she got for christmas (did you know that pink ballerinas are THE BEST?)

done.

i'm done. today i got it together enough to complete the shopping and wrap almost all of it. my b-i-l took the tape and paper or i'd be 100% done. I finished making the toys for MissM's daycare party on thursday. I made 5 mermaids, 4 bunny blankets and 2 footballs plus gift bags. One of the bunny blankets and one mermaid were for friends who don't attend the same daycare, but they were on the list. I am in the middle of one kindle cover and thinking about the second. I still need to make 3 prayer shawls, but those will come in 2011. some woman offered me $40 for a baby blanket and then asked for a second (also $40) and $30 for 2 bunny blankets +materials. I just don't feel up to a baby blanket project right now. Tuesday night we're going to take MissM to the light show at the national zoo, i hope i survive it. people in masses get on my nerves at the best of times, but christmas time+my loss+cold+in-laws=disaster. my favorite purchase was buying and then printing an amazon kindle gift certificate for my dad. It took 3 seconds and no real effort from me. amen. MissM did a good job at the advent show at church and will repeat the performance christmas eve. i'm trying to find someone to go with me. i don't have the strength to go alone. one of my best female friends at church is very pregnant and i'm happy for her, but i'm so sad for me. on the 26th i'm supposed to load me and the kid into the van and drive to western md to visit family. the thought of it makes me tired and depressed. i wanted to meet up on the 1st at a restaurant half-way, but they rarely consider what i want. i gave the cards to my guy to mail. if you got one, i'm glad. if you didn't, it's his fault and you should send him vibes to get stamps.

i was in lane bryant earlier getting a gift card for my sister and the cashier was rude to me. i didn't have the energy to call her on it. i explained i wanted a gift card for my sister. she said she thought i was making a credit card payment because i didn't have any items. i was a little shocked that she thought i was there to buy for me, since i'm clearly too small for the store. i stated that i'd lost over 90lbs and that at a size 4, lane bryant just isn't for me, even if the clothing is pretty. she asked if i wanted to get coupons in the mail. that's how my entire week has been since sunday. i think i've had enough and this cloud of misery needs to float on away.

this is how charlie brown feels

lost

i had a miscarriage at 6:30 this morning. i'm having one of the worst days of my life and i just want to crawl into a hole and cry and i can't because i have to choke back my sobs and try to smile and play with my daughter instead. someone has to fix breakfast, fold laundry and go to the store. i want to pretend christmas isn't coming this year too, but that's something else i'll have to sit though and insist that i'm fine, when i'm not. we didn't tell anyone, it was a christmas surprise.

crappy music

You ever been on hold so long that you forgot what you were holding for when you finally got through? Yeah, I hate that too. I'd hang up, but it's actually important. I'm on hold with the Dr. trying to get an apt. This is why people give up and go to the ER.

Update:
I talked to the receptionist for 12 seconds before being put back on hold for another 3 minutes, but after that I got an apt for the 17th, so apparently I was right and i do need to see the Dr. but not that badly.

I Rock!

I fixed the dishwasher all by myself tonight.

recent times in pics

i haven't had much to say recently. I've been busy doing promised volunteer projects. my circle is hosting breakfast for the woman's shelter we support, so I agreed to buy 3-4 containers of juice and 3lbs of turkey breakfast sausage and give a small donation. I've also been committed to filling 3 shoe boxes with small trinkets and hard candy for children in haiti, so they can have a christmas. I promised another group at church that i'd make some small craft items for the christmas sale table to support overseas missions, so tonight i finished that obligation up. I made 5 shawl pins and rummaged though my "give away" scarf pile and pulled several out to toss in. They wanted people to complete half-done projects and donate those, not go out and buy new stuff to make a new project.

This week I've completed:
a wrap done in wheat with a gold shimmer (here's a pic partially done & completed)
a single cable crochet scarf for the FIL for x-mas (the cable is hard to see b/c the yarn is light)
a double cable crochet scarf for the lady who cleans the lobby at chick fila (she's always VERY nice to us. We got someone to translate for us and had a nice conversation one day about making things and she told me she likes pink, so I made her this. It's got pretty gold buttons on it too!)
I also made a handful of scarves for our church mitten tree. One lady does the hats and mittens (she's a massive knitter) and I said I'd knock out some matching scarves b/c scarves are fast and easy.

There's also a pic of Mandolin's pumpkin, of mandolin (the fairy) with her BFF (the princess) at the friend's halloween party/trick or treat date. the BFF's g-mom was a pattern writer for mccalls, so that's a professional home-made costume. I loved how the girls rocked halloween old-school home-made style but looked good doing it.

I think that's about everything that's new. I'm making another scarf for a different lady who works at chick fila that's nice to us. She used to crochet and told my friend and i (we go there to crochet while MissM plays) that having us there in the lobby attracts people and is good for business as well as the overall environment. I am also starting another shawl, this one as a christmas present for the MIL.

I am almost done my x-mas shopping but i know what everyone is getting. I need to make 4 bunny rabbit blankets (as seen a few posts ago), 4 mermaids (my own pattern), one robot, and one airplane for the kids at MissM's day care and then I'll be done all my x-mas projects. easily do-able.

minding my own business

I don't know how Orbie does it, but she's my HERO.

Several weeks ago a woman approached me about making something for her. We talked about price etc. and struck a deal and exchanged info. I spent the time making the item (a fashion shawl and then a shawl pin to go with). When I was done making the items, I e-mailed her about arranging pick-up and payment. She's since fallen off the earth. This irks me. Why go to the trouble of arranging for someone to spend 10-12 hours making you something (not to mention the expense of materials) if you're not going to follow through? The price wasn't a lot of money considering the item and the wait wasn't long, about 7-8 days. When something like this happens, it makes me want to quit making stuff for money.

People have urged me to set up a website and online portfolio where people commission me for work instead of me making random items and selling them. Fine, but where's the incentive if people are going to renege? My guy has urged me to forget this woman and just sell her shawl and pin online for the same price or more than she was willing to pay to the first person who wants it. Also, I have other customers who haven't backed out etc., so it's not like all faith is lost, but really! Sometimes people suck.

I'm really thinking about setting up private lessons/small classes teaching crochet to people. If you were to take a crochet class at JoAnne's or Michael's, you'd pay anywhere from $30-$50 for one 3hr session or 2 3hr sessions with a group of strangers and learn basic skills like single/half double/double crochet in rows and in rounds as well as rocking the eer traditional granny square. You probably wouldn't complete a project, just get it started with instructions on how to finish it. I know the teacher doesn't get to keep all that money, but seriously, I could do that one-on-one (always the BEST way to learn) for less money than they're asking customers to pay and toss in a few more sessions and help the person complete the whole project. Plus, I'd get to keep the money and not pay out a portion to the craft store.

I found a "class" where one becomes "certified" by the yarn craft council/crochet guild of america to teach people to crochet. You really just complete some assignments, go through an interview or two and are then given the OK to market yourself to the major chain stores as a teacher for the low price of $150. I could do this and probably pretty fast, since I've already been teaching people and making expert grade projects. Heck, I know how to teach people all kinds of crazy junk according to the state I live in, I just choose not to... so why not this?

Anyway, I've been thinking of what it would take to start my own official commission based business (you know, with a website and business cards etc.) and or offering private lessons/small classes.

Oh, this is a pic of a shawl i made similar to the one that's for sale. The for sale one is the same as this one, but it isn't as wide (top to bottom) as this one. It's about 4" thinner. I made this one for me because I'm always cold, so I wanted a huge shawl I can bundle up in. The woman wanted one like mine, but more of a "fashion" item, rather than one to keep warm, so I made it smaller.

grassroots

I got an e-mail that made me think of a conversation I once had with Verb about religion.

I belong to the united methodist church (UMC). Since the 1970s, the UMC has had a stand on homosexuality that's, in my opinion, very split or outright hypocritical. They're trying to appease everyone but really alienating most (again my opinion). The UMC policy on homosexuals is as follows: homosexuals can be members of the church without discrimination (the UMC "open door" policy has been widly publicized) but homosexuals cannot hold leadership positions, become ministers of the church, or be married in the church. Any ministers found officiating a gay marriage are subject to disciplinary action from the national UMC.

A church in our conference (the Baltimore-Washington conference) has recently held a vote and stated that they're going to allow gay marriage in their church in response to the federal marriage equity act from march 2010. Bishop Schol (the bishop in charge of the B-W conference of UMC) released a statement to all members about this action. He was there for the vote and is ripped up over it. He out-right said in his letter that these are troubled times and hinted at a major confrontation coming in the future. It won't be the first, or the last, but when there's a big conflict in the UMC, the UMC usually splits and divides creating a new church (the UMC has a very long and interesting history of this).

I personally do not understand how the church's standpoint of "open doors" is considered "open" and "tolerant" because at the same time the doors are open, the Book of Discipline (the rule book of the UMC church) allows for discrimination based on sexual orientation. Telling someone "you can come to the church, but you can't really participate" is like telling an athlete that they made the team, but they don't get to play, EVER. People who are against homosexuality lose out because the church bars discrimination against homosexuals who wish to attend, but then the homosexuals lose out because they can't really do anything in the church beyond attending. I know that's part of compromise, but shouldn't a compromise at least attempt to serve the population? No one is really being served by the current standard. It's a cop-out, really a way of saying "we'll let other people deal with it in the future." Well, it's the future.

I understand that there's a lot of gray, and they're trying to make everyone happy. But guess what? I was in first grade when I REALLY figured out that you can't make everyone happy. We were having inside recess because of rain and that meant games in the room. We could play a class-wide game, like seven-up, or play board games. There was a vote and we ended up playing a class-wide game. Some will win and some will lose, that's life.

I think the UMC has done a disservice by ignoring this fact. I have a friend who was about to complete his master's of divinity at wesley in DC and wanted to go through the ordination process. he had a good job as a seondary minister at a church we attended. Many of us knew about his homosexuality, and we didn't care. He was a good man and was good at his job. The fact that he'd had a male partner for almost 15 years didn't hamper his understanding or ability to do the job. At some point (i'm not sure of the whole story, as I wasn't attending that church at the time it all went down) his homosexuality became known and he was stripped of his job at the church and black-listed form further employment. He has since completed the master's of divinity and is now working on his PhD, but has left the UMC to go to another protestant church. His new church has been given a gift in the form of his talents and calling and the UMC made a big error when they alienated him. (again, all my opinion).

Individual churches are now making a stand against the regional and national UMC and after enough of it builds up, things will change. I hope it all remains peaceful, but I think that the book of discipline will have to be addressed soon and if the church has to split, so-be-it. Our church should serve us while serving the Lord. There are few rules attached to christianity, but the ones that are there are firm. We're not to judge others, we're to love them more than we love ourselves and we're supposed to love the Lord more than we love ourselves. I don't think that the UMC rules allow us to follow the Lord's rules. Jesus didn't tell us to love the people we think that the Lord wants us to love, he said we need to love everyone, especially the people that are marginalized by society. So, while I was sad during Bishop Schol's letter, I was happy too, because change is blowing in the wind, and that means there's an opportunity for us all to do what we should have been doing.

my place

so tonight i went to my monday night prayer shawl group and most of us showed up, but our fearless leader had something else to do. We thought about where we could go (since her office was out of the question) and I said "you know that room upstairs, the pretty blue one with the lovely couches? I like that room." the other women looked at me and their faces lit up. We'd found our spot.

this room was decorated by someone with a lot of good taste and talent. She took all the donated stuff at the church and painted, re-finished, re-covered and just re-did it all to create a beautiful peaceful parlor for all the women's circles to meet in. The room is mostly white with shades of blue scattered about and it's the room i'd have if someone said "what would you like jilly?"

It's got 2 sofas, a love seat, two squishy chairs, a small piano, end tables and a lovely coffee table. There are mirrors on the walls that were tiled to match the tiled table. The flower arrangements and drapes are subtle and tasteful. It's not at all like being in a doctor's office or hotel. It's like being in your own home when you're in this room. We had a great time in it and the other women cofessed that they too felt like they were home in this room. I thought they'd make fun of me for liking this room so much, but they didn't, they understood.

i dream of having a room like this in my own home. A room where I can just go and sit and crochet, maybe have a fire in the fireplace and just let all the junk go. a family room/living room/den has never been that for me. I'm not a big TV fan and would rather listen to music or the radio than watch TV, but i do like listening to documentaries while crocheting if the TV must be on. i like the sound of silence, and i like order. Very little in my house is ordered or silent currently, and it's not from my lack of trying.

if i could, i'd take pictures of this room and put them aside for one day, when my house is nearly empty, so i can have my room. for today, i'll just have to borrow the one at the church and hare it with all the other women who want a room too and hope to find the woman who made that room and thank her, because it's looking like it'll be years before i can have my own place here.

pictures and boring details

Here's some pictures in any order.

Mandolin's halloween costume I made for her. It's fairy wings (i dyed the thread to crochet with), a wand, and a dress. The dress is will so she has an undershirt on to keep it from itching. I needed size 2 thread and the only size 2 i could find was wool.

The dress pattern called for 5 balls and I only needed 2 and couldn't return them. I paired the wool with some simply soft in bone and made this shawl for myself called "mother of the bride" a free some from lions brand.

I also took left-over yarn and made 2 shawl pins. I bought a $20 shawl pin for myself a few years back from a free-trade org, but MissM broke it. It was beautiful but fragile. I walked around Walmart and found some items that were good for shawl pin making and bought them ($5 worth) and made a few. People ave approached me about making them for money. I am going to donate a few to the church holiday craft sale.

The blue shawl is my latest prayer shawl. I didn't have enough blue, so I put in some white stripes. When the border is on and all the ends are tucked in, it'll look nice.

The rabbit is my recent project for church. In jan, we have a baby sunday and every baby born the previous year is given a gift. LAst year they made these and they were a big hit. The elderly ladies each knitted 1-2 of them and HATED it. When you knit it, it's all knitted in one piece. I found the crochet pattern at lionsbrand and set about doing one. It took me about 1.5-2 hours and was easy-peasy. I said i'd do 5, but I might give in and do 10. I bought 2 5oz skeins thinking i'd get 3 blankies and I got 1 blankie in at 2 oz, meaning i might make all 5 in this yellow/blue. If i go back and get the purple/green then i could try and do 5 in those. we'll see. This is a small buddie at 18" ear tip to tail.

I have also been commissioned to make another "mother of the bride" shawl identical to the one i made myself for some money and i need to make a hippo for some money. I'm going to start the shawl this week and the hippo next so i can plan my christmas shopping for missM and my guy. I like to get it out of the way early so I don't have to bother with anything.

I've also offered to make something in trade for a sweing project i want but don't know how to make myself, so that'll take some time. So, if you've evere wondered what a non-desperate housewife does when she isn't watching kids, cleaning, cooking or shopping: that's it!

Normal, well according to the BMI

I got weighed today and found out that I weigh exactly 154 lbs, which at 5'6" tall means my BMI is 24.9 making me a NORMAL weight and roughly 9lbs from the end goal I set myself at the beginning of weight loss. I felt happy and sorta silly too. It's nice to say "Hello, I'm NORMAL" but really, does it matter? Fireworks didn't go off, no one around me noticed that I'm "normal" now. They saw the same me they see every day. But I like the idea of going to the dr and not being tolld "well, you could lose 5 lbs" or anything like that.

During this past year or so that I've been working on weight loss, I've given myself little treats when I hit specific goals. I'd get a pedicure or a new workout DVD or outfit for # and non # goals to celebrate making progress. Sometimes a # victory isn't as important as fitting into something that didn't fit before, or getting hit on when you weren't expecting it and should be celebrated too. The silliest thing I celebrated was when my official weight was LESS than what my driver's license stated it was, especially since I didn't lie on my DL when I had it renewed.

Someone recently asked me what I was going to do for THE BIG V and I had no idea. I'll probably hit the big one sometimes during the Thanksgiving/Christmas season and that being the case, I decided that for every pound I lost I will donate one pound of food to my local food bank. I'm not going to donate the food no one wants either, but the same type of food that I eat and that is good, like brown rice, legumes, pasta sauce, chicken broth etc. I talked to my guy about it, and he thought that was a good idea to celebrate. I could buy myself a nice gift or take a small trip, but I've done a lot for myself (especially losing weight) and it's time I did a little something for the people around me that need a little something. My sister told me to adopt a family for Thansgiving and go talk to them and tell them why I'm donating a meal, but I don't know if I want to be THAT hands on.

volunteering and shots

I had shots the other day, a D-TAP and pneumonia shot. My arm is hot and swollen and itches like hell but hurts so bad I can't lift it. All of the joints in my body ache and my neck is now stiff, as if I slept on it wrong. I also have a low grade fever BUT I've got the chills and a killer headache and severe fatigue. Earlier I sat and looked at my daughter's bedroom door and then almost cried at the though of lifting her onto her table to change her for bed and then lifting her into bed. The take-home info sheetr on the shots lists all of these things as possible side effects from the minor to moderate category, so I'm not worried, I'm just miserable.

I have signed up to work sunday school once a month for the 2yo class and I'm looking forward to it. I also joined the prayer shawl group at church and even though the other members are all in their 80s, they're a snappy bunch and we laugh a lot and I like them. Once I've been around longer, I'm going to introduce the idea of teaming up with the youth group to pass the talent on. There are over 100 teens at the church, some might want to learn.

MissM is about to turn 3 and I'm excited about it. She can tell you that she's 3 and hold up 3 fingers (Well, she put up 4 fingers and then uses her other hand to hold the 4th finger down and show you 3).

I went to the Dr the other day, a new doctor near where I live, and she was very nice. She tested my strength and said "You're VERY strong, I wouldn't expect it because you're so small" I snorted like Emma! That's when I pulled out my driver's license and showed her my 57 weeks ago and told her how much weight i've lost. People usually act like I've parted the red sea when I disclose my weight loss. I have several new friends who wouldn't know at all if I didn't tell them. I never wanted to say anything to my new friends, because why should it matter? But, at prayer shawl meeting, some of the ladies teased me for not eating the food and one made a half joking comment about "oh the new girl turned her nose up at the candy!" I chose to see it as a joke, but just in case, i whipped out the trusty driver's license and told them about my weight loss. They forgave my passing on the food and promised to not be food pushers in the future.

I am half-done my prayer shawl and i think I may need to make it bigger. We work with all donated patterns and yarns, so most of the yarn is the ugliest stuff you'll EVER see and many of the patterns are from the 1970s and before. Many of them look like a bad acid trip with vrey bright and od color combinations and tripped out models in weird poses smiling like they're demented. It took me a bit to find the least obnoxious yarn and pattern I could. Most of the donated yarn, besides being vomit colored, comes without a wrapper listing brand name, weight, dye lot, and type. Anyone who's ever looked at paint chips knows that white isn't always white. Therefore, unless someone donates a solid pound-1.5lbs of the same yarn, there's little that can be done with random skeins, unless we find a granny square shawl pattern.

One woman makes children's hats and her BFF makes mittens to match, so that gets rid of a lot of the odds-and-ends yarn and another woman makes chemo hats, so that helps too, but the rest of us are making lapgans, baby blankets, and shawls.

I completed another round baby blanket in golden yellow, creme, and light purple and i'll post pics. I've also started a baby blanket in tunisian blocks of white, chocolate and sky blue. I will then cross stitch the alphabet and numbers on the "wrong" side.

I completed a fall fashion scarf and a tunisian scarf in shades of blue with a "wave" border. And I am done MissM's fairy dress and am in the process of assembling the wings. I used a 20 gaguge wire and it wasn't strong enough and the wings collapsed, so I went back and got 12 gauge. I'll post pics of these projects as a) they're completed or b) I have time to take and post.

I've been busy trying not to collapse in bed for the past few days and trying to plan the birthday party.

they're collecting small finished hand-crafts to sell after/during church during the christmas season and the intent is to donate that money to a school out west. I have a few scarves and odds and ends to put in the pile. I asked the PS ladies if they'd be donating and most said no. I don't know how they don't have several little projects that just sit around waiting for a home, but I have a hard time getting rid of this stuff as it is!

That's it for me really. My arm huts and it's 9, so I can justify going to bed. Have a nice week everyone.

how 'bout them dinosaurs?

we went to the smithsonian natural history museum last monday because missM wated to see dinosaurs. she LOVED the metro train ride, liked the walk from the smithsonian metro stop to the museum, really LOVED the museum, liked the lunch at the cafe and had a blast on the mall carousel. She didn't really cry or fuss once and used the big girl potty in the big girl bathroom 4 times throughout the day. I only used 2 pullups from we waking to sleeping time. that's progress!

after we got back to MD we went to baskinrobbins and she got a treat and then later went to boston market for supper, which she loves. so it was a good day. i like boston market's soup and right now, they give you unlimited free refills on soup there, so it's a decent bargin.

i've been laid up with asthma attacks and migraine combos that leave me drained and depressed. last week i got it together enough one day to make eggplant parm and spaghetti squash spaghetti pie as well as 2 veggie side dishes so we could just reheat food all week when the urge hit. the week before i made sloppy joes with half the meat. i used 1/2lb 97% turkey and then shredded a zucchini into pan with the meat and added the packet of seasoning, only a small bit of water and the tomato paste and it turned out good. MissM loved it and I was shocked because she a) hates ground meat of any sort (beef, turkey, pork, chicken etc. she hates all of it) and she isn't a big squash fan. the kid loves raw carrots though. So the week before last, we ate a lot of "sloppy" joes with veggie soup and carrot sticks.

i think i'm going to make "oven fried" chicken and more spaghetti squash spaghetti pie to eat this week with a spinach and orzo side dish and re-make one of the veg side dishes from last week. the ragweed is rearing its ugly head and these are the times i just want to move somewhere else.

we started at a new church and they don't have nursery care during the 9:30am service. the 8:30 is too early and I can't try the 11 for a few more weeks and the 7pm is just too late. there's a nice woman who sits behind us who mandolin relly likes. half through the service, missM will get up and go sit on her lap. The woman is of granmother age, so she's highly indulgent and i don't feel too bad. she didn't send MissM away the first time missM sought her out, so MissM keeps going back. we'll see how it goes tomorrow. this church has a co-op preschool instead of a egular private school i'm used to, so i'm thinking of looking into that. if i did a day or two at the pre-op, that generally allows the kid to attend the rest of the week, allowing me to seek out a pt job at a craft store or teaching crochet or something. who knows? it's worth looking into.

here are some smithsonian pics.
in any given order:
*mandolin loving the metro train
*us in the mammal room (2 shots) [I AM ALWAYS COLD, EVEN IN AUGUST IN A CROWD!]
*The orkin insect zoo, it's funny they paid for it.

I just don't understand

This is a story about my sister. She works hard, but doesn't make enough to provide everything her kids need so she's on food stamps. Fine. She needs help and we live in a society where some help is provided (usually not enough, but that's another issue). I don't look down on her because I'm a decent human being. She works 50+ hours a week to provide what she can. While I dislike her husband, I don't hate him and often feel bad for him. He's a type 1 diabetic with many health issues related to it.

I think part of the problem is that for years they insisted he's a type 2 before he got sick enough to almost die and then they ran a few extra tests and said "golly gee, you're a type 1, our bad." You can't treat the two diseases the same, because they aren't, they're quite different. His health is pretty bad right now. He cannot feel his legs, stand for more than 25 mins and he's probably going to lose his foot soon. He needs one vial of insulin a month and it's $75 a vial AFTER insurance. They can't afford that and so he hasn't been taking it. My heart hurts for them. One shouldn't have to choose between feeding and clothing their children, paying rent, or getting vital medication. Today his blood sugar was 405. I am not sure how he was awake and talking and not in a coma.

While the situation is terrible, what REALLY GETS ME is that these people out-and-out RANT about "those people on welfare" and vote republican. In fact, they're volunteers for the republican governor candidate. They love watching Red Eye and Glen Beck, and listen to Rush (although they HATE oreilly). My sister brags about boycotting various restaurants that supports pro life and other heathen morals (although she hasn't seen the inside of a church in almost a decade). I don't understand how people who are literally living because of welfare despise "those people" on welfare and vote for people who want to eliminate welfare.

It makes no sense to me. This is why I think it MUST be an issue of racisim. Anytime someone has any sort of conversation about "those people" they're usually talking about someone who isn't white, well-to-do, or of a religion that's approved of by people who are white, well-to-do, or of a specific religion. The comments attached to the loathing of "those people on welfare" leads me to believe that they're really just talking about the "Danisha's" supposedly living in the ghetto with 4 kids by 4 different baby-daddies who have fancy cars and expensive clothing while getting a welfare check or two a month.

Look, I live 4 blocks from one of the worst ghettos on the East Coast and I've never seen someone making bank off of welfare, and we all shop at the same A&P, even on the first of the month (I try to avoid the store that week if I can, but it's not always possible). I can honestly say that the people I see with food stamp cards tend to be people who are dressed as if they work at least one menial job, work very hard, and try to do the best they can by their kids. I never see crab legs, steak, or any other outrageous items on the belts of the people with the independance cards at my A&P, like the welfare reformists insist is a common occurance. I can't say it doesn't happen, I'm just saying that I've never seen it happen. I mostly see people who are trying like hell to make it, like everyone else.

I also know that being a parent sucks when your kids want things and you can't provide them. Sure, no one NEEDS expensive shoes or an MP3 player, but most kids wish for them, especially at Christmas time and birthdays and it's horrible to say "No, you can't have that because we're poor." My niece had a birthday recently and she only asked for one thing: A store-bought birthday cake, the one with the REAL BARBIE in it, not juse the top half. My sister got her that cake, and it was probably around $40, but that's all the kid wanted. And that's about all she got from her parents. Over the years, I've learned not to ask the kids what they want because they'll say the most heart-breaking things like "we're not having birthdays this year because we're poor." I always get them something, but I know that has to piss my sister off because she can't provide for them, but here comes her uppity bitch sister showing her up and getting the kids gifts.

I hope my daughter never tells me "I can't have a birthday this year because we're poor."

what i've been doing

i've made this round blanket for my guy's great aunt and uncles first great grand child. It's due around valentine's day, but i like to get everything out of the way ahead of time. I picked a neutral color to fit a boy or girl. the blanket's about 45" across and is the color of vanilla pudding. the pattern called for yellow, but i needed to buy 2lbs og yarn for the blanket so i bought two 2lbs skeins of vanilla pudding colored yarn 10 skeins of yellow. The fewer yarn changes, the stronger the blanket. All in all, i spent about 14 hours on the blanket b/c the pattern caused me trouble when it came to the border. I spent 6 hours on everything that wasn't the border and 8 on doing and re-doing the border. I finally got it all worked out and i'm happy with it.

Pic 2 is a granny shawl i made myself. I'm always cold now. It's a large granny square sewed to 2 half grannies. This is in an off-white color. Sorta like the vanilla pudding, but less yellow. I made this while on the way to indiana in the car. It's a good lapgan or wrap. The long end measures around 6'

this is a navy blue scarf done in tunisian crochet (which is a hybrid of knitting and crochet). I then used some left-over yarn from the shawl and cross stitched JILLIANSWAY in script from a victorian sampler i own on it. It looks like a snow storm until you really focus and see the lettering. This is meant as a fashion scarf.

I am currently making a tunisan scarf in various shades of blue based off a washcloth pattern. The problem with tunisian crochet is that all patterns are either stritcly beginner or so far advanced that it isn't funny. Several of the shawls and afgan patterns i've found consist of having 5-8 skeins on yarn attacked to the project at the same time, making it hard to move. if my scarf works out, I may write a few patterns to sell on etsy.

I'm being paid to make a stuffed animal for christmas, so that'll be a day. I am also making MissM's halloween costume, and that should take 1-2 weeks. click here to see what i'm making. It's the fairy wings and dress. I have the patterns, i need to go buy the materials and get started. I'm going to make the wings first, so if I run out of time, she'll have that part.

I've also considered selling my doll clothing patterns on etsy if i can get them copyrighted. i see alo tof people selling patterns instead of products on etsy, and that's SMART. It doesn't take too long to author a pattern, but it can take ages to make something tangible to sell.

You know if I ever have a "real" job again, I'd like to do three things:

1) teach people to crochet, and not just using the official terms, but telling them it's okay to hold the hook differently etc. Holding the hook is a lot like holding a pencil or a fork, it's silly to think that there's only one way to do it, and yet people DO insist there's only one way.

2) Add plain speaking tips to patterns. Instead of just reading the instructions like r2 sch 4 (dc in same sp) *c4 sk next dc ch4 dc in same sc* and on and on, I'd give that, but then i'd make a note "yes, this pattern ends up a square eventually, but starts out a circle, so it's going to look really funky right now. That's okay. At r9 it really comes together, hang in there." and other helpful tips throughout the pattern. Seriously, with some of this stuff you have no idea if you've funked it up until you get to the end, and if you have, it's like shooting in the dark trying to fix it.

3) Write patterns and translate diagrms to ledt handed crocheters. As i get older, the more i refuse to conform. I'm a left-handed person, I LIKE being left-handed and that's the end of it. Almost half the world is left-handed, but it's just assumed that everyone is right-handed. I'd love to take some righties and plop them down in a home/office where everything is made for lefties and see how well they survive. There'd be more left-handed products on the market ASAP. Most left-handed people I know are able to over-come and adapt better. I can use my right hand for almost anything, and I can use it pretty well, almost seamlessly, but it feels off like I'm wearing my shoes on the wrong feet.

When I really started to crochet for real, I had major issues with the fact that all stitch dictionaries, patterns, and diagrams are written for righties. I have to spend a lot of time looking at diagrams and flipping it around and stopping between rows and comparing notes while thinking of how the mirror image of the diagram should look to see if I've funked it up or not. Also, learning new stiches isn't easy when they're all taught for righties. Many of the books and patterns that do give helpful hints along the way are sure to say "okay now that you're on the right side, work left" etc.

I want to write a book on crochet from the left filled with left-handed stitch diagrams and how to turn right-handed to left, left-handed pointers and pictures and descriptions on how to do various forms of crochet and related arts (picot, tunisian, crochknit, loom etc.) as a left-handed person.

Will it sell? Mayvbe, maybe not, but I'd love to have that guide.

Some pictures from the Columbus Zoo and Oliver Winery in Indiana

the frog/waterfall and fish are at the winery. All others are from the zoo trip. I got many lovely pictures and I think I am going to make an online photo album for easier viewing and i'll post the link here if i accomplish that.

hobby lobby, my trip, and some advice to future grandmothers

we got home yesterday afternoon, and all is now well. I had 3 spats with the MIL and she's crazier than ever, but we all survived teh trip. Grandpa who's 100 is doing well, although he's still a racist. He took umbridge with missM's black cabbage patch kid. I'm sure he'll send a very expensive white doll to replacve the cheap black one as a christmas present. that black cabbage patch doll really offends old people where ever we go.

I LOVED my 15 mins in hobby lobby and was sorta miffed that they sent me in with the MIL to babysit her while yarn shopping. Michaels and Joanns are the two craft stores near me and they're kinda crappy. My sister has an AC moore and a Benjamin Frankloin near her and they're pretty good, I think i mostly visit her so i can go to either one of those stores. Today i looked hobby lobby up online to see about shopping online and guess what? there are 2 planned hobby lobby stores near me! i don't know when they'll open, but i'll be THERE when they do. I noticed several midwestern stores are starting to move east and i saw a few eastern stores crop up in the midwest since last year.

on our way to bloomington i made a shawl for myself and while there i made some more clothing for the cabbage patch kid mentioned above and on the wya home I made a checkers game that needs a bit more work and will be done. I need to work on 2 baby blankets but everything else i previously mentioned in older posts is now completed. I listened to "My Antoina" and "PErsuasion" while in the car. Since librivox is all volunteer, some of the readers aren't very good, but i liked it just the same. The woman who reads jane austen is top notch and could get paid to do it. There were 5-6 different people who read the willa cather book and some were great and others okay, but I can hear the loe of the work in their voices and the fact that it's free is nice.

I am starting "uncle Tom's Cabin" and a work of classic short stories. After that I'm going to DL some agatha christie and perhaps some more cather?

I do have one small wors of advoice for you broards who will be grandmas in the future (most of you). NEVER OFFER advice about parenting unless the person out-right asks. Many of the people I know are older than I am, which is fine, but I'm starting to get tired of all the Free Advice that's piled upon me. Free advoice is worth what you pay for it. I think this trip was extra taxing because my MIL's mental state is worse than ever and she's lost the ability to butt-out. I finally had to tell the old bitch that I do one thing every day, all day and that's be a mother. I'm the world's only expert on Mandolin, and as such, I don't need or want any help from her or anyone else. If I ask for help or advice, then by-all-means, but if I don't speak those words, STFU.

Because the in-laws are in their mid-70's and haven't had toddlers since they were in their 40s, they oftne forget what is appropriate for a 2 year old. They wanted to engage in several great touristy things that were not 2-year-old activities. I had to have a mini-shouting match in the middle of the Columbus Zoo for them to understand that yes, the trained animal show is neat, and if they want to see it, they should go see it, but a 2 year old will not sit for 30 mins for that. They have strange notions, and one of them is that when one goes on a group trip, one may only engage in activities that ALL members of the group can do together. In short, I spent 7 days with 5 other people every second of the day, 3 of which have mental health issues and one of which is 2. In a mini-van.

The other short parents spot was over food. MissM is now in the "i'm never eating again" stage of life. It's normal and I'm not worried. Every 5-7 days she'll eat a good meal and most of the other days she'll eat 1/2c apple sauce and mayve some crackers and be done for the day. Fine. One day she asked for lunch and we bought it for her and she refused to eat it. I told her she wasn't getting one bite of food again until dinner and left it at that. Awhile later I caught the MIL feeding ehr and we had a fight. When I say "NO FOOD" it means no food.

So ladies, listen to me, when you're blessed with grandkids, do NOT go back on the ruling of the parents. "Grandma's" or "Granpa's" privilidge only goes so far. The MIL was informed just what would happen if she fed the kid again. She went into a lengthy speech about how her son (my guy) had a stomach illness that almost killed him (i'm well aware of this) when he was 2, so when he wanted to eat, she'd feed him, no matter what it was he wanted to eat. Fine, that's how she felt she needed to do things. that's not the situation I'm in and that's not how I do things. Get on board with me or get off.

anyway, i'm going to cut that rant short and I promise some pictures soon.

gone but i hope not to be forgotten

at about 7:15 am eastern time on 7/14/10, we're headed off on the 'ole family road trip to the midwest to visit our elderly kin. it's me, the guy, the kid, the b-i-l, the m-i-l and the f-i-l in a mini van for a week.

if i don't kill myself or others, i'll be back next tuesday. if i can, i'll update you on this comedy of errors as it's happening.

new Pics and stuff

Here are some pics. I made this red hat for myself. It's a lily sugar 'n cream cotton yarn free pattern found here:

http://www.sugarncream.com/search.php?key=hat&searchResults=&PATTERNS=Search

I made mine in a becoming shade of burgyndy and I had to pull the pattern out 3 times and ended up taking 4 tries and HEAVY modification to fit my head. the pattern, as made in the directions with the hook they state one should use, comes out to be the appropriate size for a giant. But, I like my hat as I finally made it and will be using the crab stitch and the crossed dc pattern again in the future.

I also made a pattern for a phone holder and a camera holder. My firend like my phone holder and camera holder so much I made her a pink phone holder and a blue camera pouch like mine.

This is my new pink purse and holds all my junk and is cute. I am going to make a few flowers and safety-pin them on as an easily removed decoration. Another friend got a similar, but a bit larger, purse in beige and has asked me to make her a few trees from the book "Crochet Adorned" and attach those for her. It should be quick and easy.

I am making a boy's baby blanket for a friend's soon-to-be-born grandson. Their big rednecks, so I picked 2 shades of cammo, an oatmeal and a chocolate brown and am making 16 8"x8" squares and then will crab stitch a border in oatmeal or chocolate. I have 1.5 oatmeal squares and then 4 chocolate squares and then assembly and border and i'm done. The original pattern can be found here:

http://www.lionbrand.com/patterns/80854AD.html?noImages=

I changed it heavily by adding 2 colors, 4 squares, and a border, but really, why have a baby blanket that's 24"x24"? That's almost sueless for a kiddo. This one will be about 32"x32" and he can keep for ages after he's out of the infant carseat.

I have been playing with pattern making but need to rework my idea. I got a cute grannysquare heart from here:
http://www.crochetme.com/media/p/94308.aspx

but they made it into a scarf. That scarf must be huge as each heart I did came out to 5.5" inches at the alrgest point. making 50 of them and then sewing them together in boxes must be a HUGE scarf. I think if I made her scarf, I'd have to use a hook that was 2-3 notches smaller and possibly smaller ply yarn. the hearts should be 2-3inches if you're going to make boxes and sew them together!

Anyway, my blanker: I have made it in 4 different colors and one granny square and am attempting to attach them all and border it about an 1" to make a square that's about 12"x12". 9 of these together with a 1" border will make a pretty blanket. I need to take out the hearts and re-attack ut leaving the dent in the middle of the heart un-attached to the square so they look like hearts, not spades.

MissM LOVES this square and likes to carry it around the house saying "here's my blanket, I like my blanket. Mommy, finish this blanket, not that one!" when I work on the cammo blanket and not her blanket.

Here's a pick of the hat and scarf I made for MissM last winter to match her shoickingly hot pink pea coat. The hat no londer fits, so I need to get some more pink yarn, undo the hot pink hat and make it bigger. The hot-pink coat will be used again this winter, and the scarf still matches, or i could just make her a new set and give this one away? I don't kow any little girls who'd want it.

We're leaving on the 13th for the yearly trip to Indiana to visit grandpa who's 100, so I need to get my tail in gear and get all my car-work ready. I need to upload all my ipod stuff to my cellphone so my guy and i can each have an mp3 player for the trip, I need to get MissM's car activities together, I need to shop for the food I'm taking (i forsee a lot of McD's stops and I can't touch the free breakfast at the hotel in the AM). I also need to plan what crochet projects I want to do in the car. I've been downloading books read onto podcasts from librivox and listening to them while I corchet. I can still hear MissM and keep her in sight, but I like it the most because I don't have to choose between reading or crochet, I can do both at the same time! right now i'm reading some Willa Cather

http://libravox.org/