a "friendly" Family competition

Standard Entry Form

Whichever female can find the worst piece of sh*t excuse for a man and cohabitate, possibly marry (introducing him as your fiance for 35 years doesn't count as married, but you do get some points for a "real" lack of committment), and breed as many times as possible makes it to the final round.

You win, if and ONLY if, your (in)significant other is proven to be the WORST possible mate/parent this generation has seen.

Here's how to play:

Find a jerk. A real pig here, not just a minor pig, but an out-and-out a$$hole. Be warned that not just any jerk will do. There are levels to these things.

I.
Points are awarded for financial strains on the family caused by: negative credit record, bankruptcy, foreclosure, him pawning your stuff (double bonus points are awarded if he pawned it because of alcohol, drug, gambling, or issues with another woman).

Bonus points are awarded for his time spent unemployed, "on disability," and for crippling conditions like drug addiction, alcoholism, or gambling debts. Lastly, points are given out for a criminal record, and you get more points for the longer it is.

II.
Note, it's a must that:
1) he is abusive in some way or another. After the first three incidents of abuse, you may apply for bonus points, but you must fil out form W3-J7 with an adendum.
2) he ruins every "happy" occasion in your time together.
3) he cares more about his mother than you and your kids. However, if you have proof that he's scr3wed his momma over like you, you may fill out form W4-J8 with an adendum to receive triple bonus points.

III.
Double bonus points are awared for concrete proof (not just suspicion or heresay) that he's cheated on you. These points become "maxed out" if he knocks the other woman up, if she's jailbait, or if it's done in your house and you caught them. In short, you could quadruple points here.

IV.
Children:
1) You will be given 10 points for the first child, but 30 points for each additional child. Let's get real, ANYONE can have a kid with an a$$hole, but it takes someone special to have several kids with one.
2) You may receive bonus points if you can prove your kids are messed up because of his influence or lack thereof. Request form W9-Z2 with sub sections QR3WS-QR6WS for the doctors to fill out
3) Points are awarded for him owing back child support, missing important events in the child's life, and if he really has no idea what the kid looks like or how old s/he is you can apply for quadruple points seek out form V7MX3.

V.
1) The competition officially ends when one (in)significant other is found so vial, the rest of the women give in and admit defeat. However, sitting around and b*tching about your spouse and saying "at least I'm not married to X's spouse" does not count as a defeat and if these incidents can be proven, will add points for the person who was mentioned in the catty comment.
2) In the case of a tie, deciding factors will be based on the next relationship the two women have, because let's face it folks, who can stop at just one a$$hole?

VI.
So, what do you win?
1)You win the rights to be the most put-upon b*tch in the family in the generation. This means that no one is allowed to fvck with you at family events. Everyone must side with you because you're the most bitter, angry myrtar in the generation and you HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT! Good for you.
2)Oh, and you're always guarenteed a chair. You know chairs are short at family functions, and you? You get a THRONE (not the one in the bathroom) where you may sit and whine for the entire event while telling all the other women what a$$holes they have, and you should know because you married the king of them....

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I married a good man, so I don't get to play

some march pictures

here're some pictures from the past 2 weeks.

This is mandolin sitting on her crib

Successful shopping/free ride

Waiting at the Drs office on monday. notice our packed lunch in the green bag? yep, i've become THAT organized and am now one of THOSE mothers...

Riding in the car today on our way to go running. Notice the dirty brownie face? Yep, that's my kid.

good man

I was reminded today what a good man I have. Back in the fall, we were deeply saddened to hear that one of my guy's students had passed away from cancer. This was a nice young man who had suffered from brain cancer for three years. My husband had had his older brother (who is currently in his 3rd year at college). The school asked the community to help pay for the funeral costs, as most people do not take out life insurance on their children and funerals are expensive. We did what we could and gave what we could for the family. I felt terrible for this woman. My husband had the eldest son during his first year of teaching. The kid was acting out and cried a lot in class. Worried, my husband arranged his first ever parents-teacher conference. The mother explained that her husband was about to die from brain cancer and it was hard to deal with her sons. They were in all sorts of grief counseling, but things were hard. When the husband was diagnosed, they said he'd be just fine, but after 8 years, they were waiting for him to die. I can't imagine being 14 and all I ever knew bout my dad revolved around watching him die. Not too long after the father passed away, the youngest son was diagnosed with the same cancer, except there weren't any "you'll be fines" attached. They pretty much knew he was going to die and spent 3 years waiting for it to happen.

Recently, this woman contacted my guy. She confessed to him that at least once a day, she finds herself breaking down and thinking that she can't go on. After losing her youngest child and husband within 5 years, she's decided to go after her dreams. She's back in school and can't use a computer at ALL. She remembered my guy, and made an appointment to see him and went and asked for his help so she can get through school. What did he do? He helped her. This man is busy between working, PhD school, working more, owning our business, grading papers, and lesson plans etc. But part of him said "screw that" and he took precious time he barely has to help a woman at her wits end. I'm amazed that she thought of my guy, but happy she did. I'd like to think that if my guy wasn't around, and i reached out to someone for help, they'd help me too.

3 for $51

I haven't really wanted to buy a lot of clothing as I've been losing weight, because I hope to never wear it again. I needed 2-3 dressed for occasions coming up.

We're going out for out anniversary in april, prom may 1st and family picture in march.

There's a consignment shop not too far away from me in a nice neighborhood where all the Raven's players wive's take their old stuff. None of these women are large, so i've been in, I was never really able to shop for me.

Knowing I needed to get 3 dresses that I may never wear again, I decided to check this shop out. I am currently a size 10. It's not big nor is it small, it's a nice medium size.

We found many nice dresses and I for a long black number foe the anniversary, a burgundy thing for the prom (it's more modest), and a pretty sunday sundress for the family pic. I took pics of me in the formal dresses and I'll share those now.

humdrum and stupidity

not much is going on with me. I'm down 57 lbs and feeling good. I now wear a size 10 and have started to buy all new clothing. i'm not done with the whole "taking care of me" thing, but we're getting close. next saturday i have to go buy a prom dress for prom on may 1st. my guy has decided that instead of celebrating our anniversary in april and then prom may 1st, we'll do both on may 1st. i foresee a terrible night and some fighting because of this, but he swears it's a good idea. i love him, but it's not a good idea. if he thinks that being a prom chaperone is how i want to spend my anniversary, he's nuts. do i want to go? sure. is it a good substitute for taking me on a dinner cruise of the chesapeake bay? hell no. my biggest issue here is that prom's at a hotel this year. it's usually at halls but not hotels to discourage private parties upstairs. there are many aprents who don't have a problem with gettinga few hotel rooms and booze and hanving it to their kids as long as they're not "drinking and driving" it's okay. it's a stupid mindset, but people are stupid. go figure. i don't want a room in the same hotel as 400 drunk horny teens that my husband was babysitting earlie in the night (they have to babysit because at homecoming they caught 2 kids literall fucking on the dancefloor with a group of kids standing around them watching and trying to keep the adults unaware of the situation).
sure if prom ends at 12 and something goes down upstairs at 1, he won't tecnically be reposnible for contacting people, but let's be serious. they can have as many sober after prom parties as they want, and provide all the transportation they want to siad party from the prom, but if they had the opportunity to ditch the sober part and go drinking upstairs in a hotel room, many of those kids would. when it's at a hall, the kids HAVE to leave when prom is over. However, if it's at a hotel, good luck getting them to get on a bus and go to a lock-in back at the school.

i deserve a medal

i spent all day with my inlaws at a church function and i'm getting the body flu.

Fantasia

Mandolin loves Fantasia by Disney. We've been watching parts of it on youtube and she sits and watches it and tells me what she sees. I HATED Fantasia as a kid. It was boring to me. When I heard the music, I saw different pictures from the ones made by Disney. Now as an adult, I can appreciate the creativity, artistry, and hard work that really went into the 1940 and 2000 versions. I'm thinking of getting her the DVDs so she can watch (and dance with) the movie as she feels like it. She also loves watching ballet. I've never seen a little kid just sit and watch something like that, afraid to miss a single moment. With all of the animation software out there that's easy to use and inexpensive to own, I would have thought more people would make thier own versions of Fantasia. My guy has been playing around with Flash for some time now, he's going to have to teach it sooner rather than later. We've talked of us taking a class together because I like "artsy" stuff and he hates anything "artsy." If ever there was someone to fail finger painting, it would have been him. If I had the talent and the know-how, I'd love to close my eyes, think of what the music made me feel, and find a way to show that to others. In the fall, Mandolin will be 3, which is old enough to take dance class, and I hope our renter gets it together so that we can sign Mandolin up. My parents never had money for stuff like that for me, and she loves to dance and watch people dancing so much, that I don't care if she'll never be the best or even all that good. If she's happy, then it's worth us not taking vacations for her to have that experience.

I don't know

Why I let shit get to me, but I do. avoiding stasis posted a link to rachel maddow about a politician in VA saying kids with disabilities are a result of god being angry at their parents for abortion. It's ignorant, rude, and plain old stupid. My brain made the leap to all kids with disabilities must be because of god's anger at the parents for any reason. It's a logical conclusion to me. If abortion=kids with disabilties then why wouldn't anything else seen as a sin=the same thing? As a decent human, I was angry. As a parent of a child with a disliblity i was enraged and wanted to send him hate mail. My child isn't a punishment, she's a blessing, which is how he supposedly sees all kids, i guess unless they're not "normal."

I hope the people of VA vote his ass out of office after harassing him to death for being a disgusting person. My guy kept saying "let it go, he wasn't attacking us or Mandolin." But i felt like he was and couldn't let it go. We had some words and have spent the evening tiptoeing around each other. Part of my anger is knowing the history of people with disabilities and knowing that "god's wrath" was used to justify horrible treatment for the longest time. If god didn't like you, if you were different, you were crucified for that difference. Many places, to this day, still treat people with disabilities as a walking sin. How dare that man imply that about my child? I don't live in VA, but he didn't say "only in VA." My guy said "he probably only said it to make the news" guess what? I don't care why he said it. he's an asshole and i'd spit in his face if i saw him face-to-face right now. It's almost better if he actually believed the shit he said, but he probably didn't. I am so terrified of the fight she's going to have the rest of her life. People are mean, people are not loving and little compassion is showed. I don't want her to EVER believe that god was mad at her or anyone else and that's why she has to work harder and longer than all the other kids. after all, if god can't accept you, how are you supposed to accept yourself? so much for the loving god of the christian bible. this man must have a different version than the one i read.