minding my own business

I don't know how Orbie does it, but she's my HERO.

Several weeks ago a woman approached me about making something for her. We talked about price etc. and struck a deal and exchanged info. I spent the time making the item (a fashion shawl and then a shawl pin to go with). When I was done making the items, I e-mailed her about arranging pick-up and payment. She's since fallen off the earth. This irks me. Why go to the trouble of arranging for someone to spend 10-12 hours making you something (not to mention the expense of materials) if you're not going to follow through? The price wasn't a lot of money considering the item and the wait wasn't long, about 7-8 days. When something like this happens, it makes me want to quit making stuff for money.

People have urged me to set up a website and online portfolio where people commission me for work instead of me making random items and selling them. Fine, but where's the incentive if people are going to renege? My guy has urged me to forget this woman and just sell her shawl and pin online for the same price or more than she was willing to pay to the first person who wants it. Also, I have other customers who haven't backed out etc., so it's not like all faith is lost, but really! Sometimes people suck.

I'm really thinking about setting up private lessons/small classes teaching crochet to people. If you were to take a crochet class at JoAnne's or Michael's, you'd pay anywhere from $30-$50 for one 3hr session or 2 3hr sessions with a group of strangers and learn basic skills like single/half double/double crochet in rows and in rounds as well as rocking the eer traditional granny square. You probably wouldn't complete a project, just get it started with instructions on how to finish it. I know the teacher doesn't get to keep all that money, but seriously, I could do that one-on-one (always the BEST way to learn) for less money than they're asking customers to pay and toss in a few more sessions and help the person complete the whole project. Plus, I'd get to keep the money and not pay out a portion to the craft store.

I found a "class" where one becomes "certified" by the yarn craft council/crochet guild of america to teach people to crochet. You really just complete some assignments, go through an interview or two and are then given the OK to market yourself to the major chain stores as a teacher for the low price of $150. I could do this and probably pretty fast, since I've already been teaching people and making expert grade projects. Heck, I know how to teach people all kinds of crazy junk according to the state I live in, I just choose not to... so why not this?

Anyway, I've been thinking of what it would take to start my own official commission based business (you know, with a website and business cards etc.) and or offering private lessons/small classes.

Oh, this is a pic of a shawl i made similar to the one that's for sale. The for sale one is the same as this one, but it isn't as wide (top to bottom) as this one. It's about 4" thinner. I made this one for me because I'm always cold, so I wanted a huge shawl I can bundle up in. The woman wanted one like mine, but more of a "fashion" item, rather than one to keep warm, so I made it smaller.

grassroots

I got an e-mail that made me think of a conversation I once had with Verb about religion.

I belong to the united methodist church (UMC). Since the 1970s, the UMC has had a stand on homosexuality that's, in my opinion, very split or outright hypocritical. They're trying to appease everyone but really alienating most (again my opinion). The UMC policy on homosexuals is as follows: homosexuals can be members of the church without discrimination (the UMC "open door" policy has been widly publicized) but homosexuals cannot hold leadership positions, become ministers of the church, or be married in the church. Any ministers found officiating a gay marriage are subject to disciplinary action from the national UMC.

A church in our conference (the Baltimore-Washington conference) has recently held a vote and stated that they're going to allow gay marriage in their church in response to the federal marriage equity act from march 2010. Bishop Schol (the bishop in charge of the B-W conference of UMC) released a statement to all members about this action. He was there for the vote and is ripped up over it. He out-right said in his letter that these are troubled times and hinted at a major confrontation coming in the future. It won't be the first, or the last, but when there's a big conflict in the UMC, the UMC usually splits and divides creating a new church (the UMC has a very long and interesting history of this).

I personally do not understand how the church's standpoint of "open doors" is considered "open" and "tolerant" because at the same time the doors are open, the Book of Discipline (the rule book of the UMC church) allows for discrimination based on sexual orientation. Telling someone "you can come to the church, but you can't really participate" is like telling an athlete that they made the team, but they don't get to play, EVER. People who are against homosexuality lose out because the church bars discrimination against homosexuals who wish to attend, but then the homosexuals lose out because they can't really do anything in the church beyond attending. I know that's part of compromise, but shouldn't a compromise at least attempt to serve the population? No one is really being served by the current standard. It's a cop-out, really a way of saying "we'll let other people deal with it in the future." Well, it's the future.

I understand that there's a lot of gray, and they're trying to make everyone happy. But guess what? I was in first grade when I REALLY figured out that you can't make everyone happy. We were having inside recess because of rain and that meant games in the room. We could play a class-wide game, like seven-up, or play board games. There was a vote and we ended up playing a class-wide game. Some will win and some will lose, that's life.

I think the UMC has done a disservice by ignoring this fact. I have a friend who was about to complete his master's of divinity at wesley in DC and wanted to go through the ordination process. he had a good job as a seondary minister at a church we attended. Many of us knew about his homosexuality, and we didn't care. He was a good man and was good at his job. The fact that he'd had a male partner for almost 15 years didn't hamper his understanding or ability to do the job. At some point (i'm not sure of the whole story, as I wasn't attending that church at the time it all went down) his homosexuality became known and he was stripped of his job at the church and black-listed form further employment. He has since completed the master's of divinity and is now working on his PhD, but has left the UMC to go to another protestant church. His new church has been given a gift in the form of his talents and calling and the UMC made a big error when they alienated him. (again, all my opinion).

Individual churches are now making a stand against the regional and national UMC and after enough of it builds up, things will change. I hope it all remains peaceful, but I think that the book of discipline will have to be addressed soon and if the church has to split, so-be-it. Our church should serve us while serving the Lord. There are few rules attached to christianity, but the ones that are there are firm. We're not to judge others, we're to love them more than we love ourselves and we're supposed to love the Lord more than we love ourselves. I don't think that the UMC rules allow us to follow the Lord's rules. Jesus didn't tell us to love the people we think that the Lord wants us to love, he said we need to love everyone, especially the people that are marginalized by society. So, while I was sad during Bishop Schol's letter, I was happy too, because change is blowing in the wind, and that means there's an opportunity for us all to do what we should have been doing.

my place

so tonight i went to my monday night prayer shawl group and most of us showed up, but our fearless leader had something else to do. We thought about where we could go (since her office was out of the question) and I said "you know that room upstairs, the pretty blue one with the lovely couches? I like that room." the other women looked at me and their faces lit up. We'd found our spot.

this room was decorated by someone with a lot of good taste and talent. She took all the donated stuff at the church and painted, re-finished, re-covered and just re-did it all to create a beautiful peaceful parlor for all the women's circles to meet in. The room is mostly white with shades of blue scattered about and it's the room i'd have if someone said "what would you like jilly?"

It's got 2 sofas, a love seat, two squishy chairs, a small piano, end tables and a lovely coffee table. There are mirrors on the walls that were tiled to match the tiled table. The flower arrangements and drapes are subtle and tasteful. It's not at all like being in a doctor's office or hotel. It's like being in your own home when you're in this room. We had a great time in it and the other women cofessed that they too felt like they were home in this room. I thought they'd make fun of me for liking this room so much, but they didn't, they understood.

i dream of having a room like this in my own home. A room where I can just go and sit and crochet, maybe have a fire in the fireplace and just let all the junk go. a family room/living room/den has never been that for me. I'm not a big TV fan and would rather listen to music or the radio than watch TV, but i do like listening to documentaries while crocheting if the TV must be on. i like the sound of silence, and i like order. Very little in my house is ordered or silent currently, and it's not from my lack of trying.

if i could, i'd take pictures of this room and put them aside for one day, when my house is nearly empty, so i can have my room. for today, i'll just have to borrow the one at the church and hare it with all the other women who want a room too and hope to find the woman who made that room and thank her, because it's looking like it'll be years before i can have my own place here.

pictures and boring details

Here's some pictures in any order.

Mandolin's halloween costume I made for her. It's fairy wings (i dyed the thread to crochet with), a wand, and a dress. The dress is will so she has an undershirt on to keep it from itching. I needed size 2 thread and the only size 2 i could find was wool.

The dress pattern called for 5 balls and I only needed 2 and couldn't return them. I paired the wool with some simply soft in bone and made this shawl for myself called "mother of the bride" a free some from lions brand.

I also took left-over yarn and made 2 shawl pins. I bought a $20 shawl pin for myself a few years back from a free-trade org, but MissM broke it. It was beautiful but fragile. I walked around Walmart and found some items that were good for shawl pin making and bought them ($5 worth) and made a few. People ave approached me about making them for money. I am going to donate a few to the church holiday craft sale.

The blue shawl is my latest prayer shawl. I didn't have enough blue, so I put in some white stripes. When the border is on and all the ends are tucked in, it'll look nice.

The rabbit is my recent project for church. In jan, we have a baby sunday and every baby born the previous year is given a gift. LAst year they made these and they were a big hit. The elderly ladies each knitted 1-2 of them and HATED it. When you knit it, it's all knitted in one piece. I found the crochet pattern at lionsbrand and set about doing one. It took me about 1.5-2 hours and was easy-peasy. I said i'd do 5, but I might give in and do 10. I bought 2 5oz skeins thinking i'd get 3 blankies and I got 1 blankie in at 2 oz, meaning i might make all 5 in this yellow/blue. If i go back and get the purple/green then i could try and do 5 in those. we'll see. This is a small buddie at 18" ear tip to tail.

I have also been commissioned to make another "mother of the bride" shawl identical to the one i made myself for some money and i need to make a hippo for some money. I'm going to start the shawl this week and the hippo next so i can plan my christmas shopping for missM and my guy. I like to get it out of the way early so I don't have to bother with anything.

I've also offered to make something in trade for a sweing project i want but don't know how to make myself, so that'll take some time. So, if you've evere wondered what a non-desperate housewife does when she isn't watching kids, cleaning, cooking or shopping: that's it!

Normal, well according to the BMI

I got weighed today and found out that I weigh exactly 154 lbs, which at 5'6" tall means my BMI is 24.9 making me a NORMAL weight and roughly 9lbs from the end goal I set myself at the beginning of weight loss. I felt happy and sorta silly too. It's nice to say "Hello, I'm NORMAL" but really, does it matter? Fireworks didn't go off, no one around me noticed that I'm "normal" now. They saw the same me they see every day. But I like the idea of going to the dr and not being tolld "well, you could lose 5 lbs" or anything like that.

During this past year or so that I've been working on weight loss, I've given myself little treats when I hit specific goals. I'd get a pedicure or a new workout DVD or outfit for # and non # goals to celebrate making progress. Sometimes a # victory isn't as important as fitting into something that didn't fit before, or getting hit on when you weren't expecting it and should be celebrated too. The silliest thing I celebrated was when my official weight was LESS than what my driver's license stated it was, especially since I didn't lie on my DL when I had it renewed.

Someone recently asked me what I was going to do for THE BIG V and I had no idea. I'll probably hit the big one sometimes during the Thanksgiving/Christmas season and that being the case, I decided that for every pound I lost I will donate one pound of food to my local food bank. I'm not going to donate the food no one wants either, but the same type of food that I eat and that is good, like brown rice, legumes, pasta sauce, chicken broth etc. I talked to my guy about it, and he thought that was a good idea to celebrate. I could buy myself a nice gift or take a small trip, but I've done a lot for myself (especially losing weight) and it's time I did a little something for the people around me that need a little something. My sister told me to adopt a family for Thansgiving and go talk to them and tell them why I'm donating a meal, but I don't know if I want to be THAT hands on.

volunteering and shots

I had shots the other day, a D-TAP and pneumonia shot. My arm is hot and swollen and itches like hell but hurts so bad I can't lift it. All of the joints in my body ache and my neck is now stiff, as if I slept on it wrong. I also have a low grade fever BUT I've got the chills and a killer headache and severe fatigue. Earlier I sat and looked at my daughter's bedroom door and then almost cried at the though of lifting her onto her table to change her for bed and then lifting her into bed. The take-home info sheetr on the shots lists all of these things as possible side effects from the minor to moderate category, so I'm not worried, I'm just miserable.

I have signed up to work sunday school once a month for the 2yo class and I'm looking forward to it. I also joined the prayer shawl group at church and even though the other members are all in their 80s, they're a snappy bunch and we laugh a lot and I like them. Once I've been around longer, I'm going to introduce the idea of teaming up with the youth group to pass the talent on. There are over 100 teens at the church, some might want to learn.

MissM is about to turn 3 and I'm excited about it. She can tell you that she's 3 and hold up 3 fingers (Well, she put up 4 fingers and then uses her other hand to hold the 4th finger down and show you 3).

I went to the Dr the other day, a new doctor near where I live, and she was very nice. She tested my strength and said "You're VERY strong, I wouldn't expect it because you're so small" I snorted like Emma! That's when I pulled out my driver's license and showed her my 57 weeks ago and told her how much weight i've lost. People usually act like I've parted the red sea when I disclose my weight loss. I have several new friends who wouldn't know at all if I didn't tell them. I never wanted to say anything to my new friends, because why should it matter? But, at prayer shawl meeting, some of the ladies teased me for not eating the food and one made a half joking comment about "oh the new girl turned her nose up at the candy!" I chose to see it as a joke, but just in case, i whipped out the trusty driver's license and told them about my weight loss. They forgave my passing on the food and promised to not be food pushers in the future.

I am half-done my prayer shawl and i think I may need to make it bigger. We work with all donated patterns and yarns, so most of the yarn is the ugliest stuff you'll EVER see and many of the patterns are from the 1970s and before. Many of them look like a bad acid trip with vrey bright and od color combinations and tripped out models in weird poses smiling like they're demented. It took me a bit to find the least obnoxious yarn and pattern I could. Most of the donated yarn, besides being vomit colored, comes without a wrapper listing brand name, weight, dye lot, and type. Anyone who's ever looked at paint chips knows that white isn't always white. Therefore, unless someone donates a solid pound-1.5lbs of the same yarn, there's little that can be done with random skeins, unless we find a granny square shawl pattern.

One woman makes children's hats and her BFF makes mittens to match, so that gets rid of a lot of the odds-and-ends yarn and another woman makes chemo hats, so that helps too, but the rest of us are making lapgans, baby blankets, and shawls.

I completed another round baby blanket in golden yellow, creme, and light purple and i'll post pics. I've also started a baby blanket in tunisian blocks of white, chocolate and sky blue. I will then cross stitch the alphabet and numbers on the "wrong" side.

I completed a fall fashion scarf and a tunisian scarf in shades of blue with a "wave" border. And I am done MissM's fairy dress and am in the process of assembling the wings. I used a 20 gaguge wire and it wasn't strong enough and the wings collapsed, so I went back and got 12 gauge. I'll post pics of these projects as a) they're completed or b) I have time to take and post.

I've been busy trying not to collapse in bed for the past few days and trying to plan the birthday party.

they're collecting small finished hand-crafts to sell after/during church during the christmas season and the intent is to donate that money to a school out west. I have a few scarves and odds and ends to put in the pile. I asked the PS ladies if they'd be donating and most said no. I don't know how they don't have several little projects that just sit around waiting for a home, but I have a hard time getting rid of this stuff as it is!

That's it for me really. My arm huts and it's 9, so I can justify going to bed. Have a nice week everyone.

how 'bout them dinosaurs?

we went to the smithsonian natural history museum last monday because missM wated to see dinosaurs. she LOVED the metro train ride, liked the walk from the smithsonian metro stop to the museum, really LOVED the museum, liked the lunch at the cafe and had a blast on the mall carousel. She didn't really cry or fuss once and used the big girl potty in the big girl bathroom 4 times throughout the day. I only used 2 pullups from we waking to sleeping time. that's progress!

after we got back to MD we went to baskinrobbins and she got a treat and then later went to boston market for supper, which she loves. so it was a good day. i like boston market's soup and right now, they give you unlimited free refills on soup there, so it's a decent bargin.

i've been laid up with asthma attacks and migraine combos that leave me drained and depressed. last week i got it together enough one day to make eggplant parm and spaghetti squash spaghetti pie as well as 2 veggie side dishes so we could just reheat food all week when the urge hit. the week before i made sloppy joes with half the meat. i used 1/2lb 97% turkey and then shredded a zucchini into pan with the meat and added the packet of seasoning, only a small bit of water and the tomato paste and it turned out good. MissM loved it and I was shocked because she a) hates ground meat of any sort (beef, turkey, pork, chicken etc. she hates all of it) and she isn't a big squash fan. the kid loves raw carrots though. So the week before last, we ate a lot of "sloppy" joes with veggie soup and carrot sticks.

i think i'm going to make "oven fried" chicken and more spaghetti squash spaghetti pie to eat this week with a spinach and orzo side dish and re-make one of the veg side dishes from last week. the ragweed is rearing its ugly head and these are the times i just want to move somewhere else.

we started at a new church and they don't have nursery care during the 9:30am service. the 8:30 is too early and I can't try the 11 for a few more weeks and the 7pm is just too late. there's a nice woman who sits behind us who mandolin relly likes. half through the service, missM will get up and go sit on her lap. The woman is of granmother age, so she's highly indulgent and i don't feel too bad. she didn't send MissM away the first time missM sought her out, so MissM keeps going back. we'll see how it goes tomorrow. this church has a co-op preschool instead of a egular private school i'm used to, so i'm thinking of looking into that. if i did a day or two at the pre-op, that generally allows the kid to attend the rest of the week, allowing me to seek out a pt job at a craft store or teaching crochet or something. who knows? it's worth looking into.

here are some smithsonian pics.
in any given order:
*mandolin loving the metro train
*us in the mammal room (2 shots) [I AM ALWAYS COLD, EVEN IN AUGUST IN A CROWD!]
*The orkin insect zoo, it's funny they paid for it.