"sorry for your terrible loss"

i was sitting crying over my poor dead kitty, when my guy informed me that one of his kids at school died from cancer today. i felt so petty being sad over my cat after that. i won't be offering up anything beyond "sorry for your terrible loss" because like bert said, there's nothing to really say after that. i don't think parents (good one anyway) ever get over the deep fear that they'll have to bury a child someday. a few months back i took mandolin, my niece and my nephew on a hike in one of the cemeteries my house is i the middle of. my niece was facinated by the infant graves and kept asking me what the babies dies of and why there were so many of them. i could't tell her the first, but the second was easy. we live in a time and place where children are expected to live to be elderly, and when they don't, it's a large shock. I think we're blessed by this, but in another way we're not, because expecting a long life means we're not prepared when life is cut short in childhood. so today i am sad. i am sad because of my dead cat. i am sad that my guy has to go to a funeral for a child he'll miss. i am sad that family will miss that boy for the rest of their lives. i am sad thinking of that mother's pain and fear it could one day be my own. i am sad i don't feel guilty about this, because i grew up thinking that "good people" felt guilt. but i am happy too because my daughter is happy and healthy and gave me a hug and kiss when she saw me crying and said "momma, i mouve you. don't cry. smile."